Psychology. Ndikuthiyile umama

Amaxesha amaninzi, ubuhlobo usapho yekani babonakale nempumelelo, yaye ngokuthe ngcembe ubomi iba imfazwe. Kudla kukho ungquzulwano phakathi komntwana nabazali. UNyana umthiyile unina wakhe, nokuba yintombi - imeko efanayo kungenzeka phantse naliphi na ikhaya. Yaye ngokufuthi na sikhatshwa ingxabano kakhulu. Kubonakala ngaphandle kwesizathu, nje ngaphandle ndawo. Kodwa ke imeko umva kwakhona kunokwenzeka, xa umntwana ekhula phezulu phantsi kweemeko ezinzima yaye rhoqo phantsi sihlaselwa abadala.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuba iimeko zobomi, abazali, kwi dilesi yayo ithunyelwa amabinzana nomsindo ngenzondo, amava ayikho iimvakalelo abanethemba. Ngapha koko, abantu abadala basoloko kuphela okuqinileyo, kodwa bakholelwa ukuba ubomi ngenxa yabantwana. Ngokutsho kwabo, ukuba nesimo sengqondo esinjalo akenzi bakufaneleyo oku. Okanye ngaba sifaneleka? Kutheni abantwana ndikuthiyile umama wakhe? Kukho ezininzi izizathu. Yaye ke inxenye kubo uya echazwe ngokutsha.

ubunzima ezikhulayo

ukuziphatha okunjalo ngakwicala elivisayo ezithile. Yaye yintoni na ngakumbi, kaninzi abantwana aniyixelanga kuphela ibinzana ezinjalo, kodwa siyakholwa kuyo. Kwaye ngoko ke aqale enze ngokungathi ebebathiya ngokwenene. Kulo mzekelo, ulwalamano intsapho kuba kakhulu noxolo, eqhelekileyo, esinengqondo ngokupheleleyo xa abazali bazame ukufumana ulwimi eqhelekileyo kunye nabantwana.

Umama uyamzonda intombi (okanye nonyana) - uyiqhelile kwabaninzi. Ngokuqhelekileyo, imeko enjalo lunokusolwa kobunzima uphawu lokufikisa, xa umntu oselula uqala ukukhula, uzama ukufumana indawo yakhe, ukuba baqonde ngengqiqo yokuba ubukho. Kulo mzekelo, nezigqibo umntwana zidla kungekhona iimbono badala, nto leyo esisizathu sokuba kukho ukudideka idibana, uze siphuma kunye ungquzulwano.

Izizathu

Kwezinye iimeko, iminyaka nzima ihamba kakuhle. Nakuba kunjalo, kwimeko apho ubomi iba neshologu, kakhulu, kwenzeka impela njalo. Zintoni izinto ezibangela ukuziphatha okunjalo nomntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo?

1. nomzali, ongenamyeni nzima ukusingatha, ngoko ngumsindo uyaqala zingabangela umntwana, lowo wamkela atshabhise.
2. Ziziphi ezinye izizathu ezinokubangela binzana: "Mna ndikuthiyile umama '? Zicingele usapho ngokupheleleyo. Noko ke, abazali uyithiyile enye kwenye, nto leyo iba nefuthe elibi umntwana.
3. Ibinzana ukuba zibangelwa yi bubuxoki iyonke, xa abazali ubudlelwane kwicala.
4. Intiyo kusoloko kubonakala ukuba usapho abantwana eziliqela, yaye umntu ukuba umthande ngakumbi, yaye umntu ngaphantsi.
5. Luhlobo olunjani umama uyamzonda? umntwana Intiyo kusenokufuneka ukuba unina, abangazange anikele ingqalelo kuyo, akakhathali kwaye akawuxhasi kwi ezinzima.

Izizathu zingasentla ezikhanya. Abonisa ukuba yonke into entsatsheni, njengokuba angathanda. Abantwana bazive kwiimeko ezinjalo kwinqanaba ienjini, ngenxa ntoni kwaye uqale ukuba awathethe ibinzana elithi "ndikuthiyile nomama wam."

Noko ke, iingxaki ingasombululwa yi ekulungiseni le meko. Kodwa ke kufuneka ofuna kule ndawo umntu wokuqala abadala. ukuthatha nje ukuba inkathazo ndisenawo indawo, yaye ukufumana umsebenzi onamava ngubani na onako ukubuyisela ubudlelwane entsatsheni.

Xa ndlongo ibonakaliswa ezweni elisithabazi

Iingxaki nako kuvela ngaphandle kwesizathu. Umzekelo, kwimeko intsapho eziqhelekileyo, kodwa elivisayo kusekho iinyembezi ngumsindo. Yeyiphi le nto kukho iimeko ezinjalo? Ungaze ulibale ukuba ukuziphatha komntwana - nje uphawu. Oku kubonisa ukuba kukho ingxaki, kwanokuba zonke kakuhle ekuqaleni.

Kwimeko enjalo, uncedo psychological efunekayo ikakhulu abazali, hayi umntwana. oyingcaphephe kuphela ukufumana iingxaki ze uzicombulule ngaphandle neziphumo ezibi kakhulu kubo bonke amalungu entsapho. Kungenjalo, umntwana nje azise ukuba engqondweni.

uqeqesho engafanelekanga

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba iimpazamo ezithile kwimfundo kunokukhokelela Kwisivakalisi esithi: "Mna ndikuthiyile nomama wam." Kungokwemvelo ukuba eninzi kubo, dwelisa zonke ekungekho nzuzo ngayo. Noko ke, inkoliso iimpazamo liza phantsi inani ngokugqithiseleyo izithintelo, nezithintelo abohlukeneyo ukusuka badala.

Mhlawumbi abazali zaveza ubomi babantwana babo eyenziwe ngomzuzu, angavumeli ukuba ziphambuke kwesona sicwangciso. Ngelo xesha linye ucinga ukuba wenza into elungileyo ngokuzisa iinzuzo kuphela. Noko ke, ulutsha aqalile bazive ukuba ngumgibe, akusekho inkululeko ngokwaneleyo. Bayakwazi ndidilize, nazigqibo kwezi meko, uthabathe imithetho yomdlalo, kwaye ukubonisa ndlongo.

Kufuneka kuqatshelwe ukuba indlela nezithintelo kunakho ukwenzeka hayi kanye, kodwa kufuneka ibonakalise ngokwalo njengoko ezingasetyenziswanga ngumsindo, kwaye amandla, apho ngokwaneleyo ukuze sixhathise abazali babo. Kwaye ke oko kuvela umbuzo kutheni unyana omdala umthiyile unina wakhe. Okanye intombi uya kuba abazali hayi Best xa ikhula.

Izizathu care ngokugqithiseleyo

Ntombi okanye unyana umthiyile unina wakhe ... Le meko kuba sisiphumo olugqithisileyo. indlela yokunxibelelana nabantwana, ukuphepha naluphi na unyango ngokungafanelekanga okanye zibhuqe? Okokuqala kuyimfuneko ukuthetha malunga nokuba kutheni abazali abaninzi badla ukunyamekela umntwana wabo.

Okokuqala, abanokuya inkolelo yokuba imfundo kufuneka ibe ngqongqo. Kungenjalo, umntwana rhutyu nje longele. Kwaye ke inyuka ibinzana sandla, kokukhona uthando lwabazali. Oku kuthetha ukuba umntwana lowo uya kuba noyolo. Kodwa lo mbono kunqabile ukuba nemiphumela emihle.

Okwesibini, abazali bakhathazeke ukuba abantwana babo Qinisekisa ukuba iqelana iimpazamo. Loo isizathu efanayo ukuya kowokuqala, kodwa ngaphantsi kwe jikelele. Kwimeko yokuqala abazali boyikisa isiphelo amabi elivisayo, elinesibini uxhalabile kanye ukuba ayinakubamba a deuce ebandayo okanye shlopotal.

Okwesithathu, abazali akukho kuphinda bazive befunwa, ukuba bayeke ukulawula abantwana. Ukuba umntwana uzimele, kuvela ukuba bahlala ilize? Kodwa ke, kwakhona, lo mbono nto eziphosakeleyo.

Unina intombi ezonda? Psychology uyavuma ukuba isizathu le yenye yezi zizathu zilapha ngentla, ezo bengenako ukuseka umoya omhle entsatsheni. Kodwa eze iingxabano ezimandundu kungenza. Kuyimfuneko ukuba siqonde ukuba njani kwiimeko ezinjalo, ukuba baziphathe njani.

Bazingele ukuba kufanelekile

UNyana umama uyamzonda wakhe? Psychology luthatha ukuba ityala lo umnqweno wokuba "fit" umntwana wakho. Lo mnqweno ibonisa ukuba kukho ukunqongophala kwemfuneko zakhiwo, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, nokungabi nalo uthando ngokwakho kuba ngabazali babo.

Kwimeko enjalo, baqale ukuvela ingcamango ukuba ndithe mna Akukho ukusetyenziswa nabani na, nokuba zikhona ndabulaleka. Endaweni yoko bayavuya impumelelo, inkululeko abantwana babo, abazali aqalile ukuthatha umthetho kwaye ukwenza ngakumbi nangakumbi nezithintelo. Kungenxa kuvela iimbambano oku rhoqo.

Abazali abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba xa ngaba ukulawula umntwana wabo, kuba usoloko iqala ukwenza iimpazamo. Kwelinye icala, lo mbono ilungile ngokupheleleyo. Noko ke, kufuneka kuqondwe ukuba umntwana kuyo nayiphi na imeko eya kubenza. Kungenjalo akunakwenzeka. Ukuze ufunde ukuba benze nantoni na osisiyatha, umntwana ukuqala kukwenza laso kwaye aneliseke iziphumo.

Sanele indlela mazinyatheliswe

Ofikisayo umama uyamzonda wakhe? Ukuze musa kuvela iimeko ezifanayo, kuyimfuneko ukuba nangoko bana phandle apho ufuna ukuthintela, yaye apho ungelelanga. Umzekelo, ukuvumela ukwenza kunye ukupheka kuba, ukuba ekhitshini ayikho kukho into enetyhefu. Ukulungisa le bhayisekile kuyenzeka. Kodwa ukuqhagamshelana usikrobana ayikho kuyimfuneko, oko kuyingozi.

Kufuneka iqondwe into yokuba ukufikelela into ebaluleke kuphela kumava abo. Kwaye ke umntwana yathengwa, abazali kufuneka kusoloko iphazamise iingcebiso kunye nengcebiso. Nje ukugqiba oko kuyingozi noko ayikho. Ukuba kunjalo yokuqala, ulawulo kufuneka, umntwana wesibini uyakwazi ukuqonda wena.

elizayo yomntwana ibonakala mfiliba

Apho kukho uloyiko ukuba bebonke isiphelo komntwana ngaphandle kweliso lomgadi ubotshiwe ukuba embi? Izinto ezibangela nonkwantyiso ngokuqhelekileyo ngokufanayo bonke abazali. Ukuba intombazana usapho, nto ulindele ukuba ukukhulelwa kwangethuba, iziyobisi kunye ngunongogo. Inkwenkwe Qinisekisa ukuba ukwamkeleka nolwaphulo-mthetho, uya kuqala ukulwa rhoqo kwaye uya uthathe iziyobisi.

Kwimeko enjalo, umbuzo wokuba ngaba le ulawulo kuya kukunceda ukuba uphephe isiphetho efanayo. ngokuqinisekileyo ukuphendula kuyo. Kwezinye iimeko, ezigcinayo, ngoxa abanye, phezu koko, ityhalela nantoni na embi. Hayi ngelize bathini ukuba isiqhamo somthi imnandi.

Yintoni Ndakhula engqongqo

Zokulolonga kungabangela enye ingozi enkulu. kokuba kusetyenziswa, Umntwana nje ukuba sibekwe esweni rhoqo alitsale nokwala. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, uya kuyeka nayo ukunikela ingqalelo amazwi abazali babo. Ngoko ke, oko kuya kukhokelela ekubeni yokuba kuya kuqalisa ukwaphula yonke into kunokwenzeka, ingakumbi abayiqondi le meko. Kwaye oku kuya lukhokelwe kwimigaqo emibini. Okanye abazali ukuba bangenelele nokukhusela, uya ukugcina imiba, okanye kunjalo bohlwaywe, ngoko kutheni ungenzi.

Guidance evela kubazali kwimeko enjalo, oko kuya kwenza kanye okwahlukileyo. Ngokomzekelo, xa waxelelwa ukuba ngaphandle isikhafu ebusika akakwazi kuhamba, uya ngokuqinisekileyo zama ukuphuma ngaphandle kwayo. Ke ukuba anithanga begula, kwaye iingxaki ngenxa oko akuyi Vuka, ke ngoko, ezinye nezithintelo yabazali ningathwali nawuphi na intsingiselo.

Kusenokwenzeka kubonakale ukuba isikhafu omtsha kunye neziyobisi - kude kakhulu kwezinye izinto ngalinye. Kodwa ingqondo somntwana, ukuba enye ecaleni kwenye, ukususela, ngokutsho imithetho umzali akuvumelekanga phantse zonke. Ngokufanelekileyo, kwiimeko ezinjalo ayeke ukuba bavelise imida esengqiqweni. Kwaye yiloo nto owayelangazelela ukuqhekeza inyala.

Kwi ingaba ndawo ingenanto?

Ndingenza ntoni xa intombi umthiyile unina wakhe? Okanye neemvakalelo mhlawumbi asenokumqumbela abazali bafumana nyana? Uqhambuko uchuku ngazo ngokwayo emoyeni, xa kwemida ukuvimbela efanelekileyo yaye bambalwa, yaye intsapho uxolo nocwangco. kwiimeko ezinjalo nangona kunqabile, kodwa oko akwenzeki.

Kufuneka kuqondwe ukuba umntwana uza kuphuma kungekudala emva koko, ehlabathini uzame ukuthatha kwindawo ethile ukuze uphephe zicinywe nobunzima. Ngapha koko, iingxaki kunye noontanga kunokuba kakhulu buhlungu.

Kule meko, abantwana ndilunyothule umsindo kubazali, njengoko nabanye ofunda nabo impixano ayikwazi, usenakho abalekele iingxaki ezinkulu. Kunye nabazali musa ngokucacileyo ukuphendula efanayo. Umama onothando, kwaye akakwazi yokuthetha iimvakalelo kakubi abantwana babo. iimeko ezinjalo izinyeliso, engachanekanga, kodwa kuyenzeka.

Ke ukuba bathi abazali abamsulwa ngokupheleleyo kwiimeko ezinjalo, akukho mfuneko. Okokuqala, lo mntwana kuva uyaqonda ukuba unobangela weengxaki ezininzi ubudlelwane kunye eklasini - isiphumo ndikhuliswe. Okwesibini, sivumele luhlaza ngokumalunga kubo, Umntu uve binzana: ". Ndikuthiyile umama" iimeko ezinjalo ngamazwi, kodwa kwenzeka.

Kwiintsapho apho athathiweyo ukuba baphathane ngentlonelo, izizathu amabinzana anjalo ngokuqhelekileyo kuvuka. Amaxesha amaninzi, oku kwenzeka kuphela xa unina ekuqaleni wazibeka ngokwayo yendawo 'abancedisi. "

Ukusombulula iingxaki

Ndikuthiyile umama wam, ukuba benze ntoni? Ukumelana ekubonakalisweni bundlobongela enjalo, kuyimfuneko ukutshintsha indawo. Kodwa akukho lula kunjalo, kuba ufuna ukusebenza ngokwabo, ukuphonononga imigaqo yokuziphatha yabo. Kwaye utshintsho kuyimfuneko zombini abadala kunye nabantwana.

Kwelinye icala, iimvakalelo abantwana bafuna i iplagi. Ngoko ke, musa uqhoboshele ukubaluleka kakhulu ukubonakaliswa ezimbi. Kodwa oku kuvunyelwa kuphela xa kukho ithuba lokuthetha, ukuxoxa oko kwenzekileyo, funda izizathu oyinyaniso. Le meko kahle ngoba iya luzole phantsi kunye nabazali, kwaye umntwana uyayazi indlela avakalelwa ngayo.

Isiphumo le meko Search

Kuthekani ukuba umntwana umama uyamzonda wakhe? Kungakhathaliseki umahluko uhlobo, ubudlelwane ezimbi, cishe akunakwenzeka ukuba uyeke unina onothando. Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yempixano kunye nobomi baxambulisana rhoqo iba kuhlukunyezwa. Ngenxa yesi sizathu, kufuneka sizame ukufumana indlela yokuphuma kule meko.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo, musa ukulibala ukuba unina ayisoze inibulale into nabonakalisa ukuphila ngenjongo, kuba nje ufuna. Uthi nje ucinga ukuba zonke izenzo zayo okulungileyo, yaye kwixesha elizayo uza Ndiyambulela kuba kuyo.

Ngezantsi ezinye iingcebiso ukuze ukwazi ukuhlangabezana nale meko, ukusombulula ingxabano.

1. Wena nje kufuneka ukuba intliziyo. Zama ukuba adlulisele kuye ukuba bekhathalela, sinombulelo ngenxa uncedo, kodwa kufuneka a eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo, ufuna nje ukufezekisa ezinye iinjongo, kunokuba lawo wabeka phambi kwakho unina.
2. Kuyo nayiphi na imeko akunakwenzeka ukuba bahlukane, ukuba bathi amagama amabi. ukuziphatha okunjalo kuya kuyenza mandundu kuphela le meko. Kwaye ke unina oku kuya buhlungu kuphela ndikhubeke mna.
3. Ukuba umntu ozimeleyo kwaye musa unqwenela ukuba phantsi kweempembelelo lomgadi ngabazali, bafumane indlela eya ubungqina. Qala imali ukuze baphile ngokwahlukeneyo. Xa enjalo Imeko kuphetshwe esweni rhoqo ngabazali kwaye ufumane zaloo mntu. Kwaye ngexesha abangenzi nto umele uchithe ngokokubona kwayo.
4. Mhlawumbi unina uziva elilolo? Yenza azive zinqwenelekayo, ukunceda ukufumana intsingiselo yobomi. Mhlawumbi nje ufuna umhlobo lowo unako ukuhamba, ukuthetha malunga nemiba ukucofa kunye. Ku cinca koloko ukufumana ukutshiseka kwakhe. Eyona nto iseleyo ubomi bakhe nje kancinci igumbi kunokwenzeka ukuba neemvakalelo ezingakhiyo.

Yintoni abamele bayenze abazali?

Okokuqala, ungenza akusoloko abawisele umthetho abantwana bakhe kubo imini yonke, ukuba sifuna into, engqondweni kuyityumza. Kungcono ukuzama ukufumana kwizibhambathiso,-nye, phulaphula ngenyameko iimbono umntwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba bayavumelana eyakho imbono, kodwa abe nenqala ngaphakathi, apho kamva mfuneko kuya kuba nesiphumo.

Okwesibini, asimele silibale ukuba abantwana babe ubomi bayo. Kuyimfuneko ukuba nomdla. Musa ukuphepha ukudibana nomntwana, ukufunda ngamava akhe kunye tips uncedo. akufuneki ibe ukugculelwa, nokuba iingxaki zibonakala ezingabalulekanga ezihlambelayo zamaxhegokazi zimangale. Kuba bonke abantwana iimbandezelo babo khangela jikelele, ntlekele. Ngoko ke, kufuneka uncedo kunye nenkxaso. Ukuba konke oku kuya kuba njalo, kuba neemvakalelo omhle kubazali, abasayi nayo.

Okwesithathu, kufuneka uzame ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo nomntwana, ukuba abe umhlobo kuye, ukuthatha zonke ezilungileyo nezingalunganga. Abazali kufuneka va nje emzimbeni elivisayo. Ukuziva konke ukugiba abanamava, kunzima ukuba zazi meko, unako ukwenza ubudlelwane okukhulu. Kodwa musa ukulibala ukuba umsebenzi nzima ukugcina ubudlelwane, kwakufuneka rhoqo.

isiphelo

Umama wamthiya intombi okanye nonyana? Akukho mfuneko ukunyanga sisiganeko esahlukileyo njenge ntlekele. Esi sisalathisi nje ukuba ulwalamano lwenu iingxaki, kwaye kufuneka asebenze kunye nabo, ukuba bafune indlela yokuphuma kule meko.

Khumbula ukuba kukho iimeko ezimbini - abantwana kunye nabantu abadala. Kwimeko yokuqala, abazali zisoyika kunye akhubeke. Oku kwenyusa kuphela meko. Kwimeko yesibini, abazali bazama ukuba alungise le ngxaki. Yintoni isicwangciso osenyongweni kuwe? Kodwa singatsho kakuhle ukuba le ngxaki ayilungiseki, kuya kufuneka ngaphezu kwakanye ibinzana elithi, "ndikuthiyile kanyoko!"