Ubudlelwane: kufuneka wenze ntoni xa umthandayo engakuthandi

Mhlawumbi akukho mbi kakhulu (ngaphandle kokufa kunye nezifo, ngokuqinisekileyo) kunothando olungathandabuzekiyo. Le yenye yezona ntlungu zibuhlungu kakhulu zengqondo. Kunzima kakhulu, ngexinzelelo, inzima kwaye iyancibilika, iyenzeka ebusheni, into engaqhelekanga kumntu ongenalo uthando olubulalayo noluthandayo. Uthando lokuqala, oludla ngokungaqhelekanga, lugulo olunexesha elidala, othe, ngenhlanhla, luhamba kunye neminyaka yobomi bomntwana. Ukuba sikhulile, asisayi kuba nefuthe kakhulu ngenxa yeziphepho zengqondo, nangona uthando ngaphandle kokulungelelanzeka lunokuthi lwenzeke nakwixesha elihloniphekileyo. Yaye ukuba uthando lokuqala ngenxa yeminyaka yobudala kunye ne-maximalism yayo sele sele ikwazi ukuvalelwa kwaye ngokukhawuleza ilibalekile, ngoko ke ukuvakalelwa "okuvuthiweyo" ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba nzima nakakhulu. Kuthekani ukuba umntu ongamthandiyo? Ukuhlala okanye ukumshiya? Zomibini iinketho zinzima ukuphumeza.

Kuthekani ukuba umntu ongamthandiyo?

Azikho iimpendulo zendalo yonke kule mbuzo, njengoko kungabikho abantu ababini abafanayo kwihlabathi. Izinyathelo "ezilula" zokuphuhlisa ulwalamano olunjalo ukuhlukana okanye ukuqhutyelwa kokuhlushwa kwelinye icala. Ikhefu, ngokuqinisekileyo, libuhlungu kwaye maxa wambi kunzima ukuhlala. Nangona kunjalo, ibonakala njengonyango lokutshatyalaliswa: okokuqala kukhwankqisayo, kodwa ke kulungile. Kungenxa yokwesaba kwesi sihlandlo sokuqala, intlungu yesikhashana apho amaninzi amabhinqa angalindelanga ukuba athathe amanyathelo athathekayo. Bakhetha ukuhlala kulobu dlelwane, benethemba lokuba ukulungelelanisa okungaqhelekanga, kunokuba batshintshe into ebomini babo. Akunakwenzeka ukugweba nabani na apha, wonke umntu unelungelo lokulahla i-destiny yakhe ngendlela ayithandayo. Ukuba kugqitywe ukuhlala, ngoko ke kufuneka ndiyenze ntoni na? Ukuba umntu ondibathandayo akayithandi, kodwa anifuni ukulahlekelwa nguye, kodwa namaphupha okumenza aphinde abuyele, ngoko kukufanelekile ukuhlala. Kodwa kufuneka ube nesineke, silungiselele ukulindela nokukhathaza okulindelekileyo kunye neentsuku apho kuya kuba nethemba elithembekileyo lokubonakaliswa kweemvakalelo zothando. Ngaphandle koko, yintoni enye enokuyenza, ukuba lowo umthandayo akayithandi? Zisebenze ngokwakho kwaye utshintshe ukwenza ukuba unomdla kuwe, ngoko ungatshintshwa ube yinto enye.

Oko kufuneka uyenze ukuphumelela uthando

"Ukunqoba" ligama elinomdla wokubandezela, kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kuthiwa xa abantu befuna ukuthandwa ngento yabo. Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokwenza oku, khetha icebo, usebenzise apho, unokuvusa ukukhanga kuyo. Kufuneka ifake izinto ezifana nokusebenza kwindlela ekubonakala ngayo (ukuguqula isitayela seenwele, isitayela sokwenza, ukuphucula umzobo), usebenze ngokwakho ukuziphatha kunye nesimo sengqondo kumntu wakho. Kuthetha ukuthini oku? Yithetha amazwi amnandi kunye nobumnene kumfana wakho othandekayo xa udibana kunye nedwa. Amadoda akhathalelekanga ukuncoma kunye nodumo, yenzeni nje ngokuba kungenangqondo, kungabikho mfuneko. Unokubiza njani umthandayo nalokhu? Unokwenza ngokuqhelekileyo: "ikati", "umvundla", "ilanga", "uyintanda", "uyindoda yam", "kuphela", "iyingqayizivele", njl njl. Into ephambili kukuba i- timbre yelizwi iveza ububele, uthando. Mxelele ukuba nguye ongcono kunabo bonke abantu emhlabeni. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngokuncoma indlela eya entliziyweni yakhe ayikwazi ukuphulwa, kodwa iya kuba yinto ebalulekileyo kwiqhinga. Kwaye zonke izinto kufuneka zikhethwe ngokusekelwe kwiimpawu zendoda ethile.