"Lo mfazi," okanye kwakhona ngeengozi lengcinga

ngokufuthi njani ebomini kufuneka ukujamelana iingcinga? Ewe, phantse yonke imihla, yure nganye. Ba ku iingcinga zethu, ulwazi lwethu, ngendlela zokuziphatha kunye zengqondo - njengoko abanye, yaye thina. Yintoni esinokuyifunda ebuntwaneni? Kakuhle badlale indima yabo. Sixelelwa: "yindoda yokwenene akuthethi kunkqangaza," "ibhinqa lokwenene kufuneka uthathe unonophelo ngokwabo, wendlu yendoda yakhe, abantwana '... yaye sifumana thina esemncinane nkqi izimvo amazwe.

Khumbula kangaphi ediniwe nje emva kokuba usuku lokusebenza, ukwenza imisebenzi eyimfuneko, nisamana izinto abasenyongweni. It akafuni ukuba avuke kwangoko ekuseni, ngoxa belele, yaye ukuba alungiselele isidlo sakusasa lonke usapho, kuba "ibhinqa lokwenene" ngoko ke ... Thina lizimisele ukuthatha kangangoko kunokwenzeka, sifuna ukuzithethelela Nekrasov "ukumisa ihashe liphala", kwaye ngaxeshanye sidinga ukuba sibe ethe kwaye bengakhuselekanga. Ngapha koko, mangaphi amaxesha sivile - ukusuka kumama-in-mthetho, umyeni wakhe: ibhinqa lokwenene - umntu onobulali nonothando, homemakers, nesikhomokazi obungunaphakade, njalo-njalo ... Kwaye siqala bafuthaniseleke ngayo izimvo amazwe. Eneneni, ubukho iimfuno eziphikisanayo - "ukuba namandla" yaye "buthathaka", "funda ukuba ume ngeenyawo zakho" kunye "nxiba umyeni wakhe" - uvalo yahlula. Oku kakhulu kakhulu kusongela thina neurosis. Ngcolile - aze ukwahlula iintsapho ukuya butywala nemazi, ukuze ulwalamano yezifo. Makhe sijonge imeko yamakhosikazi kuluntu namhlanje ngokungaqhutywa luluvo. Ubuncinane sizama.

Ukuba nokuba 100-150 kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, eyona nto ibalulekileyo imfundo yabantwana kunye nokugcinwa indlu, kodwa ngoku iimbopheleleko uluntu azibeka abafazi, hayi sehle. Ngokwahluke ngokupheleleyo koko. Kuba ngoku kulindeleke kuyo, ukanti yintoni "ibhinqa lokwenene" kufuneka kakuhle abanembeko, ofundileyo, abaqeqeshwe, elizimeleyo. Yaye kuthekani entsatsheni? ukuba kubekho izicwangciso impixano kangaphi? Ngokuqhubekayo ... Thabathani, umzekelo, imeko apho intsapho abazali baxabisa imfundo kunye nomsebenzi. "Lo mfazi," kufuneka ukhethe ubizo, ukufumana idiploma, ukuba sifune inzululwazi. Kwaye kwintsapho umyeni wakhe, phezu koko, unina womkaMoses wayedla ngendlela eyahlukileyo yokuphila. Kuba "ibhinqa lokwenene" wayo - nguye lowo unyana, inika zonke iimfuno zakhe, ngoxa akhohlwe ngokwakho. Kwenzeka ntoni psyche, ukuba umntu ungena imeko enjalo dissonance cognitive? It lutshitshe. Kwaye umfazi akakuqondi Kwandile kulindeleke nezalamane zakhe. Nendlela bume engentle kwaye ezigwebayo ingaba - emsebenzini, eyadini, enkulisa, apho ukuqhuba abantwana ... Ukuba Soyika izakhiwo zabo neengxaki, indlela elula - zokuzifumana kwabanye igwetywe. "Luhlobo olunjani umama", "uyabona ulinywa nokulinywa ngayo phezulu," "wayeza nje ahlale ekhaya," okanye "kuyinto nje umsebenzi kunye nokucinga" - njengoko ngokufuthi ehleba enjalo ...

Thina ukufunxa iimbono zabanye abantu engaqondanga, kuva. Kodwa ukuba nje bayakwazi ukujonga ngokwakho, uyazi umphefumlo wakho - sibona indlela elidityaniswe iingcinga zethu njengokuba thina sesisa blinders phezu kwamehlo. Ukuba thina sibe nothando lobomi, ukusukela self-lokuphumeza, siya kukwazi ukususa kubo. Nokuba siqonde ukuba eyona nto umfazi real - nguye owaziyo ukuba bonwabe yaye ngayo. Kwaye ukuba akukho nto nakubani. Uye ndizele ugwebo kweli hlabathi, ukuba baphile yakho - ezikhethekileyo - ubomi. Kwaye musa ukuba i "bephelele", "unina best", "Intombi abathobelayo" .... eqonda nje oku, sinokufunda ukwamkela wena - kwaye enye - njengokuba thina okanye zinjalo.