Shame - kuba iimvakalelo, imvakalelo yabantu. ubuntu Psychology

Yintoni kulihlazo yaziwa bonke kuthi. Le imvakalelo akumnandi ebangela ukungalingani lwangaphakathi. Kunokuba namandla kangangokuba ixesha elide ukuqhelana, ukuvimbela umsebenzi oqhelekileyo. Njani kufika shame (ukuba uzive njengomphambukeli searing), ukuba okanye hayi ukutshabalalisa nto? Indlela yokuphatha ngayo? Iimpendulo zale mibuzo inokufumaneka kwinqaku.

Ingaba kukho ingqiqo shame

umntu ephuhliswe Eneneni liyayiqonda into yokuba akukho kulihlazo nto ngokupheleleyo kweli hlabathi. Kodwa ke caveat kukuba xa usiya uhlobo engeyiyo le Red Square, kuya kuba nethala kunye ubuncinane incoko kunye kwisithili. Okokuqala, kufuneka siqonde umntu ukuba kubi ukuba enze nasiphi na isenzo ezingabonakaliyo. Ingxaki kukuba lihlazo - oko imvakalelo ukuba kwenzeka xa oku uya kuyazi imeko ubuso uncomprehending.

Thina bantu bonke, umzimba ngamnye kuthi isebenza kuphela ngamnye. Enye kuthi kufuneka ukutya, amanzi, uthando, umsebenzi, ukuzonwabisa, ezemidlalo, ezolonwabo njalo njalo. Shame - kusisiphumo yokusilela ukuziphatha yoluntu. Ngapha koko, kukho abantu abahlala saphule imithetho.

Imvakalelo shame ekhuliswe bume

Umzekelo ukuzazi, unako nokuba bakhuphe ubomi abafundi abahlala kweli dorm. Igumbi apho kuhlala abafundi ilungileyo, ihlala umoya nococeko, ukuze nomnqweno ukuba bafunde. Abamelwane bathi ngempelaveki edlulileyo waya iklabhu, umfundi akakwazi. Ngapha koko, izenzo zakhe kuthatyathwa ezingamfanelanga umntu, zizifundiswa abafundileyo. Oko kukuthi, uya kuziva eneentloni (ukuba uzive engasi ityala ukuba kungachithwa ixesha lakhe wachitha).

Kukho kwakhona malunga yangasese ngokupheleleyo. It rhoqo iindwendwe ingxolo kunye fun. Bonke abahlali bakholelwa ukuba isifundo akungenxa ootitshala thile uyavuma. Kwimeko egqithiseleyo kolawulo kungabhalwa off. Kule gumbi, bonke ngokusisigxina kunye yokunxiba ukuba ngokuhlwa ukuya disco okanye kwenye indawo. Phakathi kwezi bafundi bathi kwimpelaveki yokugqibela wachitha kunye isishwankathelo zobunjineli zombane, nje ayamkelekanga. Ngenxa yoko, bathi ukuba baphile ekruqulayo nokubi. Loo Umfundi uya kucinga: "Mna neentloni phambi nabahlobo, ngenxa yokuba ndiye nabo Zauchka".

Standards efuna uluntu

Ukususela ebuntwaneni, kufuneka agonywe imigangatho ethile yokuziphatha. Ukuba oyifunayo, ukuba umntu omdala, umntu uphucula aze ayilungise. Phakathi kwezi mathuba ukuze kuchazwe zezi:

1. Osula izandla zakhe phezu yetafula.
2. Papasha owanyayo izandi xa zisitya.
3. Loud yaze ifolokhwe epleyitini.
4. Sebenzisa wokuvungula bonke ukubona.
5. Coca indlebe ngomnwe wakho nabani na, njalo-njalo.

Ukususela ebuntwaneni, siya tindhawu ukuba kukho izithethe ezithile zentlalo. Nokwahlula kudana kubo. Kakade ke, yonke into ixhomekeke anokuvela, apho umntu ufumana. Oko kukuthi, ukuba kwindawo yokusebenza eziqhelekileyo abantu abaqhelekileyo, ibinzana elithi: "Mna kudana, ngokuba wenza ithamo elikhulu yeti," - akukho mntu uya kuqonda. Kodwa ke ukuba umntu umntu onengqondo kakhulu phambi kwakhe ungakhululekanga, nkqu ngengozi wabetha amacephe kwi isitya.

Shame kwi bekhulisa abantwana

Ngelishwa ke, rhoqo ingqikelelo abahlaziswa nje uxhatshaziweyo. Oku kwenzelwa ukukhusela umntwana ukuziphatha okungafunekiyo. Umzekelo, itakane edlala eyadini kunye ukunyhibhela nebrukhwe ezintsha. Abazali wamthethisa Siphakamisa ngamandla ububi. Ngenxa yoko, ukuba mazwi: "Ihlazo phezu kwakho." Oko kukuthi, umntwana ngcembe liyaqonda ukuba iziphoso zakhe, yena kumele bazive ethile. Yena akanako ukubona nayiphi na ingxaki ukuba izinto ezintsha waluqaba. Ngapha koko, ke uyashenxa nje, wema ecaleni kwesitulo elijikajikayo ezinodaka. Kodwa kuyacaca ukuba, uMama noTata singayiqondi ntoni, ngoko kulula kakhulu ukuthoba intloko yaye zibonisa ukuba ngaphandle ihlazo akwanelanga.

Ngelishwa, umntu onjalo ngokuya ivaliwe. Yena uyoyika ukuthetha nantoni siwenze kuba naliphi na inyathelo uya kulinganiswa zibubuxoki. Kwaye ufumanise ukuba iminqweno sibona kulo.

umntu omdala neentloni

Kwihlabathi yabantu abadala, izinto ngandlel 'njengabantwana. umntwana omdala rhoqo bagxeka into yokuba wenza okubi, aze ke letyala, ukuziva ungakhululekanga. Umntu onjalo zingaqondwa kakuhle, unako ukwenza ngaphandle shame. Engqongileyo ungaziva bamba emadolweni yakhe.

Amathuba ukuba umntu uza kufumana kwi nkampani kuphela, abantu abalungileyo ezithambileyo ngokulangazelela enxulumene ezingqondweni, incinane kakhulu. Ngokuqhelekileyo macala "yokwenza" ubuthathaka, ukuqala silawulwa mercilessly. Bona zaziwa ukuba zilinganisa nayiphi na imeko ukuze enze ingqiqo shame. Oko kukuthi, umntu omdala kufuneka aqonde imeko uze ube nako ukuzisa ngokwabo ngaphandle besoyikisela abantwana kule hlobo.

Shame phambi kwabantu uncomprehending

Ingongoma ukuba balahle bonke shame. Le imvakalelo sisalathisi nezithintelo enyanzelwe ukusuka ngaphandle. Ukuziva zingambi kakhulu, ngokungathi otshisayo ngaphakathi. Kukho nokunqwenela ukuzimela kwaye susa inkumbulo yakhe kakubi. Ingaba kulungile ukuba neentloni phambi kwabo ndandiyiqonda yonke into eyenzekileyo, kodwa abafuni nto?

Kuyimfuneko ukuba thina akholwe ukuba ukulahlwa nasiphi na isenzo chistoplyuystvom akakhethi buso. Njengoko usazi, inkoliso amafanasini kundigweba abo bantu nzulu ezantsi ngokuqinileyo kuye ibekwe. Abantu abo ngxaki ingazinyamekeli nomdla kakhulu kwezinye izinto. Kwaye ubutyala neentloni phambi kwabo ngenxa ezinye izinto ezingenangqondo okanye iimeko ukukucacisa nje asivelanga.

Omnye umzekelo ubonisa ukuba xa umntu abonisa ngokucacileyo ngomnwe, ngokwenene ukhomba ngokwayo. Ukuba kanti ukuba omnye umntu uye wenza isenzo zidityaniswe, akukho mfuneko ukuthumela yona isalathisi bamemeze kuwo wonke esitratweni. Ngoko ke, ukuziphatha umntu ekwakusithiwa ogcina umyalelo, ebonisa nokuzibandakanya kwayo zendalo kwizinto ezinjalo.

Sebenza ihlazo

Umntu omdala kufuneka ukuchazwa ukuze ukuba owamkelekileyo okanye hayi kuye. Nokuba banamathele ebantwini iimbono ezahlukeneyo. Gcina i psyche esempilweni, kulo mzekelo lula kakhulu. Ngaloo ndlela, uya kuziva eneentloni phambi kwakhe kuphela.

Kungcono ukunyanga oku imvakalelo kwisibonisi. Umntu omdala ukhetha naye ukuthetha naye. Oko kukuthi, ukuba kukho nangokuvutha mnandi ngaphakathi, kukho kunoko entamo ekhoyo. Mhlawumbi real okanye omdala kakhulu. Kufuneka ukuba ifihlakale nemvo ihlazo phakathi kwabo uze uzame, phezu koko, ukuba ukukhipha wona.

Kuyimfuneko, nangona le nto, yenza le meko ezishelfini. Oko kuyimfuneko ukuze ufumanise:

1. Kwenzekani.
2. isimo sengqondo kunye nezizathu.
3. Uluvo interlocutor (enye okanye ngaphezulu).
4. Ngubani owaziyo ngaphezulu kwaye ziya kuthwala zombini.
5. Kufuneka wenze ntoni kwixesha elizayo.

Iimpendulo kwimibuzo

Ukunyaniseka, yaye ukuba abantu bazigqibele ngokwabo ngoko kwenzekayo isiganeko ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, ibangela ukuziva elibi ngaphakathi. Ngoko kufuneka uphendule umbuzo malunga isizathu sokuba into eyenzekileyo, kodwa asinako siyazikhohlisa. Yiloo nto ke uhlobo lwesiganeko kukuba babefuna meko, ikhululwe ezinye ezifanayo olungasebenziyo ezenziwe nzima-embetha inyathelo ngenxa yokugula, njalo-njalo.

Ngoko ke kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ukuqonda basabela njani ukuba kwenzeke ntoni interlocutor. Ukuba asabela lakhe nekratshi, ngokuzenza bhetele yaye ukhohlakele, kufuneka ukucinga ngendlela incoko nalo mntu maxa onke yenzekile. Kunoko, akukho eziyimfuneko ukuze banxibelelane ngokusondeleyo naye. Kufuneka kwakhona kumgocagoca nabantu abangakwaziyo ukufunda kakuhle.

Kwixa elizayo, kufuneka aziphathe ngokungathi okwenzekileyo nto. Kufuneka izigqibo zabo. Oko kukuthi, ukuba interlocutors ngabantu ababonisa inkohlakalo, unxibelelwano kufuneka incitshiswe kakhulu yaye bonwabe abo yonke kusoloko kusenzeka kuphela efanelekileyo. Ngenxa yoko, akakho apha umgaqo.

Uyishiye nabani ukuba sibe ngabahlobo kunokuba

Ukuba abantu abasabela ngesiqhelo, kufuneka abulawe naye plus. Kwakhona interlocutor elungileyo kakhulu kuluphawu ngamandla ayo ingqalelo le meko ukuba ahlawule. Kodwa apha kukho umzuzu ngokunyaniseka, kwaye kufuneka waziva ngayo.

Oko kukuthi, kufuneka ukunxibelelana nabo banomdla ebomini babo. Abantu abanjalo abayi ucingo intloko yakho ezinye iimpawu eziye zenzeka kwi comrade zabo. Kwaye kanjalo, xa bebona ukuba abantu sixhalabe kakhulu into, uvakalelwa ihlazo, ubutyala, ngoko uzame ukusuka kule kurhulumente ukuya kwimveliso. Amaxesha amaninzi yenzeka ukuba iinjongo ezimbi abenzi bobubi nje isenzo eziintloni, akunjalo. Kwaye kukho kuyabuya elibi. Kulo mzekelo, umhlobo wokwenene uya kubona ukuba isenzo angafanele a jigger.

Oko kukuthi, sifanele sibe buhlungu ngenxa into akunatyala; ngokwenene? Impendulo ubhalo akukho. Lilungile zinxulumene nehlazo hayi njengento krakra nesivalo efuna ukuya kwikona ezikude ienjini. Kufuneka kuthathwa sisalathisi loo mvakalelo. Ngoko ke, ufumana ukuze ihlawule inzuzo yayo nokuphucula impilo yabo.