Ukuzifeza, Psychology
Ndiyatshintsha umyeni wam, ndenze ntoni na? Yintoni endiyenzayo ukuba umfazi wam bethe umyeni wakhe kwaye ukhulelwe?
Ngamaqhinga, kodwa ngesizathu esithile umbuzo othi "Yintoni enokuyenza?" Ivela emva kokuba le ntokazi iyenze izinto eziyinqatha. Ubuqhetseba bubuninzi bobunzima, buyakuchukumisa izizathu ezininzi, kwaye kunzima ukuyiqonda imeko.
Ukuxhamla kwisithambiso - oko kukukhokelela
Ewe, ubomi bobulili obuhambelanayo abuyinto eyona nto, kodwa kusekho enye yamalungu omtshato ophumelelayo. Emva kokuphelelwa amandla kunye nolwazi lwakhe kule ntsimbini kwiminyaka emibini okanye emithathu, ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi baqhagamshelana kakhulu ngokwesondo, kwaye akukho nto entsha, ephazanyisayo, eyenza ukunyuka kwengqondo kungekhona. Ubonakala uqhelana ngentliziyo, yonke imikhwa, imikhwa kunye nemilinganiselo ebhedeni. Kutheni le nto eyenzekayo-indoda ekhohlisa kumfazi wayo, umfazi ukukopela kumyeni wakhe? Yintoni enokuyenza kwiimeko ezinjalo? Abantu baya kuhlambalaza ukuze bafumane iimvakalelo ezintsha kumntu onokukwazi ukuzinikela. Kuqinisekisiwe. Kodwa inyaniso kukuba, emva kokuhlalutya ubomi babo obusondeleyo obuncinane, bobabini abalingani banokwenza okufanayo omnye komnye ngaphandle kokuncediswa ngaphandle. Okanye, ukuba amasiko avumela, kunye nayo (ngoku sithetha ngezinto ezingapheliyo, kunye nabantu, into esiyihogo ayiyikuhleka, kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu - yonke into ingaphakathi komthetho).
Kubalulekile kuphela ukuba ungaphutheli umzuzu xa uqala ukuzidela komnye nomnye, kodwa oko akuzange kwenzeke ngokude ukuba inkqubo ingenakuphikiswa.
Ukuhlalutya nokusebenza kwiiphene
Bathi akudingeki ukuba uthelekise umlingane wakho nomnye umntu. Yiyiphi - kakuhle. Oku akunjalo. Kufuneka ukuba uhlalutyo olulolo hlobo (entloko yakho, kunokuzama ukubalekela nje ukuba loo mmelwane omhle uziphatha ebhedeni, kwaye emva koko umququzeleli ongenakukhathazeka uya kubuza ummelwane ofanayo ukuba wenzeni ukuba umfazi ukhohlise umyeni wakhe). Hlaziya ukuziphatha komlingane ngokumalunga naye, kwimisebenzi yendlu, ukufumana imali ukuqinisekisa ukuhlalisana. Ubona omnye nomnye imihla, uyazi zonke iimpawu, indlela yokuziphatha. Ngoko sebenzisa oku, bonisa ubuqili, ingqondo kwaye ungatshintshi kumyeni wakho, kodwa imeko eqhuba umtshato wakho ubuyele kumbhalisi. "Wayethanda ukuthanda kwam ngaphezu kokuqala." Kodwa ke wayebetha entloko kunye namahomoni okwenza ukuba enze into enjalo ukuze anqobe. Ngoku nawe, kwaye uyazi ukuba unye kunye, kwaye kubonakala ngathi awukwazi ukuhamba nomnye nomaphi. Kule meko, kutheni unqobe into eyenayo ixesha elide? Kuphosakele kangakanani abo bacinga ngoko, amadoda namabhinqa!
Ukukhangela enye entsha endala
Awukwazi ukuzivumela ukuba usebenzise omnye nomnye. Ukukhangela iimvakalelo ezintsha kukuba yinto yokuqala eqhubela phambili. Kwaye ukuba esinye isiqingatha sisoloko sikwazi ukumangaliswa, ngoko kutheni ufuna umntu othile kwicala? Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku kusebenza kubo bobabini bomtshato. Ukuba kuphela umyeni okanye umfazi kuphela uzama ukwenza ezinye izenzo, kwaye isiqingatha sesibini asiyi kunika, umnqweno wokumangalisa, ukunyamekela, nceda uphelele kwaye uphelele ngokusisigxina.
Funda kunye
Umfazi ozilumko unokukwenza ukuba umyeni wakhe aphuthumele ekhaya ukusuka emsebenzini, azungeze umfazi wakhe ngononophelo, kwaye ube nenkxaso enamandla. Uya kuthi: "Kutheni ndimele ndimfundise into?" Andiyena unina. " Inyaniso yonke kukuba umtshato wokuqala uyinto entsha kubo bobabini, kwaye bafunda indlela yokuhlala kunye ukuze bobabini bezinto ezilungileyo kubalulekile kubantu ababini. Le ndlela yindlela elula yokuphuma kwiingxaki-apha ndiyithatha nditshintshe umyeni wam. "Yintoni endiyenzayo, kuba kulula kum, kwakukho umnqweno wokuphila, kwakhona ndaziva ndithandwa." Kodwa ukuzama ukusungula indlela ekhoyo yentsapho ngumsebenzi onzima. Unokuzifumana omnye, obonakala ubhetele ngakumbi kunomlingane osele ekhoyo, kodwa loo nto inenhlanhla, ngokukhawuleza iyafana nomyeni wokuqala. "Zonke ziyafana" - ngulo mbuzo wesifazane. Ingcamango yokuba ibangela ukuba abantu benze okufanayo nangendlela abaziphatha ngayo.
Ingxaki yokulondoloza ukuthembeka, okanye okokuqala ukunyanzelisa
Ukunyaniseka akuyona into engaqondakaliyo, enqunywe yimirhumo kawonkewonke. Ukunyaniseka kukuqonda ukuba umntu osondelene nawe unokulimaza ngezenzo zakho, kunye nokungafuni ukukwenza isiqingatha esinjalo. Kodwa ke, ukunyeliswa kuyinto eyenzeka rhoqo. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo?
Into yokuqala ekhokelela ekukhohliseni ukungabi nobomi obusondeleyo emtshatweni. Kwaye ukuba isizathu salo kuphela kuphela, ngoko ke, mhlawumbi umyeni uye wahlala "engekho kakhulu" kule nkalo, okanye ukunyanzelwa kwentsha kuye kwasusa, okanye bekude ixesha elide ukususela kubhalisi, ngoko akunakuchukumisa ukuba abantu bahlangane.
Umbhede awuhambisani neyokuqala
Ibhinqa, ngaphambi kokutshata, ingaba nolwazi kwiintlobano zesini. Kodwa ngexesha elifanayo wakhetha umntu ongenalo ithuba lokumnelisa. Masiyeke izizathu zezi zinto ezenzeke, inyaniso isala ukuba wamtshata naye. Kule meko, kukho izizathu eziphosakeleyo ezikhokelela ekudalweni isibini esitshatileyo. Mhlawumbi, kwimeko apho intombi ibuza umbuzo: "Ndiyitshintshe umyeni wam ukuba yenzeni ntoni ngokulandelayo?" Ekuqaleni, kufuneka akhumbule ukuba kutheni wenza i-cell cell kunye nale ndoda.
Ukuba kwakungumtshato wokulula
Ibhinqa kule meko ivame ukuvuma kubahlobo bakhe: "Ndihlala nditshintsha umyeni wam. Yintoni enokuyenza? "Okokuqala, kufuneka ahlalutye imeko yakhe kwangoko. Ngaba ukubalwa kusasebenza? Umyeni uphazamisekile, ufunde ukuba umfazi uyamkhohlisa? Kodwa ukuba ubona umbono olungcono kumnye umntu, kwaye umtshato uyanciphisa ungezantsi, ke unombindi uqhawule umntu omtsha. Kungenzeka ukuba esi siphumo siya kubambisana namaqabane amabini, kodwa kubalulekile ukunqumla ubudlelwane ngononophelo: ngaphandle kobugwenxa, ukuhlambalaza, ukuhlambalaza. Umthetho njengabantu abadala, xubusha ulwalamano lwakho, zama ukuqonda oko kwaholela kwesi siphumo, uze uhlangane kwisigqibo esisodwa.
Umtshato wothando kunye nokungcatsha
Ukuba umtshato wawungenxa yothando, owakhula waba yinto engakumbi, koko ukungcatshiswa kwakungekho, fad. Kwaye kwenzeka njalo. Ngoko, lo mfazi wamngcatsha indoda yakhe ethandekayo. Yintoni enokuyenza kule meko? Musa nje ukuxelela lakho iqabane malunga noko kwenzekayo. Kungcono ukuyeka zonke iindidi zeentlanga kwicala, kwaye uhlalutye ukuba kutheni kwenzeka. Ukuba kukho ukunganeliseki nanoma yimaphi amaxesha ebomi bemihla ngemihla, kwiimbono, ngokubhekiselele kulo lonke, yenza iintshukumo eziya kushukumisa indoda ukuba ishintshe imeko. Ukuba umtshato ukhiwe ngokwenene ngothando olufanayo, ukuzama kwakho ukulungisa ukunyanzeliswa kwentlalo endlwini ngumyeni onothando kuya kuphawulwa. Kutheni kufuneka umfazi enze oku? Inokwenzeka ukuba, isazela siya kuphazamisa ukulala, kwaye umva wecala kwisenzo esilungileyo kufuneka uchukumise ubudlelwane obuhle emtshatweni. Umyeni akayi kuqonda ukuba kutheni umfazi wakhe waqalisa isidlo sothando ngokukhawuleza. Konke kubonakala ngathi kuyisenzo esihle, kwaye kwakhona, mhlawumbi, iya kushukumisela ukwenza izenzo ezilungelelaniso.
Sizuza ngokusweleka
Kwakhona kunokwenzeka ukuba phambi komzobo kwiofisi yokubhalisa, isibini esingazange sithintane ngesondo. Ngoku kunzima ukukholelwa, kodwa nangona kunjalo, le nto yayisetyenziswa ngaphambili - loo ndoda yayinyamekela "ubunyulu" bomfazi wayo wesikhathi esizayo. Ukuba kule meko ibhinqa liyakwazi ukuvuma: "Ndamngcatsha umyeni wam", ndimele ndiyenze ntoni kule meko? Ukucinga malunga nokuba i-adventure ye-sex minute kunye nomnye umntu olwalamano kunye nomlingane ufanelekile, kwaye ufunde into entsha ukusuka kumava athola. Kuphela kuyimfuneko ukuchaneka, emva kokuba iqabane liyakwazi ukuthatha inzala, apho umfazi, ngaphandle kwayo (enye) nayiphi na indoda nayiphi na into engayaziyo, uyazi le "nto". Ngaphambili, khetha uluhlu lwemithombo enokwenzeka kwiWebhu okanye kumaphephancwadi amabhinqa.
Ingxaki ayikho kuphela ubudlelwane obusondeleyo
Ukuba indoda ayithandi ibhinqa kungekhona nje ngokuba ngumlingani, kodwa kunye nokuba ngumlingane ebomini ngokubanzi (ngokukhuseleko lwezezimali, ukunakekelwa kwekhaya, ukunakekelwa kwabantwana, oko kukuthi, umntu akanako nantoni na, ngokutsho komfazi), akumangalisi ukuba xa Ithuba lokuqala elifumanayo, uya kufumana elinye. Kwaye ngeli xesha uyavuma ngokucacileyo kubahlobo abafanayo: "Ndiyinyani kumyeni wam." Yintoni enokuyenza kule meko? Abambalwa abasetyhini okanye abantombazana banamhlanje banomonde wokutshintsha imeko yokungahoywa yecala labo, ngoko impendulo iyabonakala.
Ukuba ubomi kunye nomntu ocinezelayo, buya kuba ngumalume oxabana, kwaye yonke imizamo yakho ekuphuculeni ubudlelwane buphelile kwi-fiasco, ubalekele kulo mntu. Umtshato kufuneka wenze ukuvumelanisa ebomini bobabini kunye nokwenza ukuba kungengcono, ngoko kungabi kubi nakakhulu.
Ukhohlakele kunye nabangaphambili
Kukho imeko xa ngokukhawuleza udibana nothando olude olulibalekileyo lomfundi. Kwaye, njengenhlanhla yayiya kuba yinto engcono xa ekhaya ebandayo. Ngenxa yoko, utshintshe umyeni wakhe ngaphambili. Yintoni endiyenzayo? Mhlawumbi, ukuxhomekeka kwinto yokuba umntu owayesakuba naye utshatile, kwaye kuye oko kwenzekayo kuya kuhlala ku-adventure kwaye akukho nto. Kodwa le nto iyenzeka ukuba loo nto ibhinqa umtshato wayo. Ukuba bobabini bavuke iimvakalelo eziqaqambileyo, ke kukufanelekile ukucinga ukuba ulungele ukuziphosa ngokukhawuleza ukuba ube nobuhlobo obutsha "obudala". Khumbulani, kutheni unqabile, qinisekisa ukuba ngaba kukho ixesha lokulungisa esi sizathu, kwaye usombulula, nokuba ulungele ukwenza intlungu kumlingane.
Ewe, ukuba inyaniso (okanye sele ikhona inyaniso) yamanyathelo "asele" awazange abe ngurhulumente. Kodwa ukuba ibhinqa lithi: "Ndamngcatsha umyeni wam nommelwane," ndimele ndenze ntoni? Emva kwakho konke, unomdla osondeleyo-uhlala nogogo unokubona ingenelo lakho kwihostela engafanelekanga, kwaye uqaphele ixesha lokuhamba ukuze ujongane nale nkcukacha kusasa ebhentshini kunye nabahlobo bakhe. Ukuba kwenzeka ukuba ummelwane wenza njengomthandi wakho omtsha, kufuneka uqale ufumene uhlobo luni lomntu, nokuba uyazi ukugcina imfihlelo. Ukongeza, kufuneka ucinge ngendawo efanelekileyo yokuhlangana. Kodwa uhlalutyo lwento eyenzekayo, kwinqanaba lokuba konke oku kuya kuphazamisa ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe, ngokuqinisekileyo akuyi kubuhlungu.
Utshintshe umyeni, ufunde umkhwekazi
Yintoni enokuyenza kule meko? Okokuqala, ungakhathazeki. Ukuba umamazala wakhe wakuva nje ngesiganeko kwindawo ethile kwaye mhlawumbi akwaziyo nayiphi na inkcukacha, kwaye kunye nale ngxabano efika kulo hlaselo, akukho mfuneko yokuphika yonke into. Yilungise ibali lakhe. Awuzange uphume ehotele, kodwa ukususela kwi-cafe kufuphi. Akayenaye umfana, kodwa kunye nolwazi lwakhe endala, abo bavuyayo ukubona. Kwaye ngokubanzi, wayekudibano kunye nomfazi wakhe. Ngoko, ngaphandle kwamanqaku aphilileyo, ngokukhawuleza, ngokukhawuleza nangokulula, kufuneka uhlale wedwa. Musa ukuvuma ngokukhawuleza: "Ndikhohlisa kumyeni wam." Yintoni endiyenzayo? Khipha isifundo kunye nenzuzo kwizinto ezenzekayo. Ulwalamano olutsha luye lwaphakamisa izinga le-adrenaline kunye nehommone yolonwabo, ufuna ukucula nokuhleka, ukuzonwabisa ubomi? Yenza njalo. Khumbula abanye kwaye uzame ukwenza ubomi babo bube lula. Abantu abangaphantsi kwakho bakrokra, ngaphantsi koko uya kuba neengxaki.
Kodwa ukuba ulala embhedeni nomnye umntu, le meko ingabonakala ingenathemba. Akukho zikhetho ezininzi apha. Kungenzeka ukuba kufuneka uqokelele izinto. Kodwa ukuba ulungele emva kwayo yonke into ukulwa intsapho yakho kwaye ufuna ukugcina umtshato, qala ukukhanyela yonke into. Ewe, ngoko uza kuwonakalisa ubuhlobo bakho nomamazala, kodwa uya kuba nethuba. Omnye kufuneka aqonde into enye: unyoko lonina akayi kuzinza. Mhlawumbi wena uya kuziphatha ngendlela efanayo, ukuba unayo unyana. Unako ukuya kwithunzi. Kodwa kufuneka uchithe ubuhlobo kwicala, ukuba ufuna ukugcina umtshato wakho.
Xa kufikelele ekuthiwa nguwe yedwa
Ukungalungi kwiimeko ezinjalo kunokuba nemiphumo embi kakhulu. Utshintshe umyeni kwaye ukhulelwe - yintoni ongayenza okanye ukwenza kwimeko enjalo?
Izigqibo kule nkalo ziqela. Ukususela kwisisu sokukhwabanisa, ukufihla inyaniso yenkwenkwe evela kumyeni kunye nokuzalwa komntu omtsha. Unokuya kumthandi wakho ukuba wena kunye nomyeni wakho ningabantwana abadibeneyo, kwaye ukuba le ndoda ilungele ukukuvuma.
Kwimeko nayiphi na imeko, ngelixa iindaba malunga neentlobo zomfazi azizange zifike kumyeni wakhe, unquma indlela yokuthatha umtshato-okanye ukufihla okwenzekayo. Kwimiqathango yokuziphatha yombambano akufanelekile ukuthetha, kuba abantu bancipha ukuba bangabikho kobugqwetha kunabesifazane. "Ngaba ndiyinyani kumyeni wam? Yintoni endiyenzayo? "Umyeni washiya emva kokufunda ngale nyaniso? Amava amaninzi amabini abonisa ukuba oku kwenzeka rhoqo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, ukuba wenza umgudu, unokubuyisela yonke into.
Kutheni ukunyanzela kubangela ukungathandeki?
Ukuba utshintshe iqabane lakho kwaye ungazi ukuba wenzeni, ngoko awuqinisekanga ngento ethile. Ziphendule le mibuzo elandelayo:
- Yisiphi isiganeko (okanye isethi yabo) enegalelo ekuhlaseleni?
- Ngubani na le meko?
- Zingaphi iingxaki ezinokubangela ukugwenxa?
- Zingaki iingxaki ezongezayo?
Akukho sisisombululo esisodwa kule meko. Ukuze ungakhathazeki ngento engenzileyo, isisombululo esona siphumo asiyikukwenza. Kwaye ke akudingeki ukuba uxhalabele kwaye uzivumelise kwizinto ezibuhlungu kakhulu: "Ndamngcatsha umyeni wam. Yintoni endiyenzayo? "
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