Umama wathi, ukuba awukwazi uthembe umntu ... Indlela ukumelana iingcinga?

Ngethamsanqa, ke ngoku ngaphantsi amantombazana bakhuliswa kwizithethe mFilisti akafuni. Noko ke, kukho iintsapho apho oomama kunye oomakhulu akhuphisana abuye loo mntu akanako unokuthenjwa nantoni na, ukuze nabani na ofuna ukuba aqhelane inenekazi eliselula afuna ukuzonwabisa ukukhanya. Ngoko ke, enoba kuyingozi nendlela iingcinga malunga nobudlelwane ngokwesini?

Kakade ke, ixesha ngoku kunzima, ingozi, lesiphithiphithi. Iya isanda, umntu ukwenza izigqibo zabo, bathathe uxanduva ngezenzo azenzileyo. Akukho ziko ukuthandana, xa iqabane lakhe ikhangelwe phambi kwisizukulwana seshumi, kwaye ke kuphela ngenceba uyakuvumeleka ukuba ubuze nayo esandleni yintombazana ikhaya elungileyo. Ukubaluleka kwenjongo ngokuphathelele amanenekazi kwabonakala ukuba wayeza kuba sisalathisi oluthembekileyo elizayo lomtshato kunye naye. Kodwa ngoku kugculela amaninzi iingcinga. Ngapha koko, baya kuxhomekeka kakhulu kwi amava zethu ezimbi, okanye - nangakumbi - ukususela ikhethe besizukulwana abadala entloko vdolblennye. Abantu ukhulele inkqubo yolawulo iyonke kunye engathembi, qiniseka, ekuqaleni, ukuba awukwazi uthembe umntu, yaye okwesibini (oku kusebenza amandla kwi-mthetho), ukuze onke amantombazana khangela nje engxoweni okanye nepokothwana umyeni elizayo.

Ukuze baphile kusemnandi ukungamthembi kunye noloyiko kunokwenzeka, kodwa olunjani lobomi? Ukuba intombazana eselula ukususela ebuntwaneni bakhe ekhandiweyo ezixelele ukuba umntu akakwazi unokuthenjwa nto, ngoko kuya kuba nako ukubona engaba iqabane umntu? kuya ukuqonda nokuvavanya iimfuno zakhe, iimvakalelo zakhe, iimpawu zakhe ezintle? Okanye kuya kuthathwa njengotshaba, ngokubakrokrela, yaye belinde kuphela isiliphu nje?

Ngokutsho iisayikholojisti mihla neetheraphisti usapho kungekho nto ukuba awukwazi uthembe umntu. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, nayiphi na imiqathango ejolise ekulondolozweni usapho okanye Union, ziquka ikakhulu ukungafihlisikuthetha kunye nokunyaniseka. Hayi ukuthemba omnye umntu, esuke, siya kuthintela iincukuthu thina yezinto ezibalulekileyo - le incoko kwentliziyo kunye naye. Iingcinga e umtshato mandundu kuphela ingxaki. Enyanisweni, phantse akukho nto awukwazi uthembe umntu. Ukuthanda abantu baby perepelenaet nokulungiselela isidlo sangokuhlwa, kwaye yomkhaya. Iintsapho apho kwakudala indima ahlukana emibonweni, bezibuza njani na indoda oselula ukufunda ukukhonza ngokwabo kwaye - ukuba kuyimfuneko - umfazi wakhe kunye nomntwana. Ngapha koko, akukho namnye kuthi abazazi sifo, ukukhubazeka okwethutyana, iintlekele ubomi.

Ukuba siqalisa ukusuka kumthetho-siseko ukuba akukho mntu unokuthenjwa, asinakuze kukwazi ukuba nolwalamano oluhle omnye umntu. Khawucinge ngale nto: Ungavakalelwa njani ukuba linjani ezibonwe kuphela njengomthombo iingxaki okanye umntu eyingozi? Nangona kunjalo, i imeko kwandim? Sukubacingela iindima ngokwesini - ezifana yokuba abayi kukuthemba umntu bonke abafazi frivolous kwaye bafuna amadoda elityebileyo, abafazi kufuneka uhlale ekhaya ukukhulisa abantwana babo, kunye neqabane baza ukuziphilisa - nzima kuphela ubuhlobo bethu. Inyathelo lokuqala endleleni eya ngokuvisisana emtshatweni zezi ukunyaniseka nje kwaye ifudumale. Yokuba akunakwenzeka ngaphandle koku - ngokupheleleyo - trust.