Imitshato lula bonwabile?

Wedding - linyathelo ibaluleke kakhulu kubomi wonke umfazi, kwaye xa ukhetha iqabane kufuneka uhlaziywe kwaye ngononophelo. Noko ke, akusoloko wentombazana, kwaye kuyenzeka ukuba abafazi abakhulu abakulungeleyo ukuphulaphula entliziyweni yakhe. Isibakala sokuba ubizo intliziyo idla antywiliselwa phandle amkhanuke eziphathekayo kakuhle-ntle - ngayo kwezi meko, kwaye kukho imitshato lula, leyo ajike abe iingxaki ezinkulu.

Kufuneka kuqatshelwe ukuba ukubalwa imitshato hayi kuphela umgca ababhinqileyo - abanye abantu bacinga umtshato yindlela elungileyo ukulungisa kakuhle-ntle yabo yemali. Kodwa kufuneka ahlawule irhafu ukuya abameli kwisiqingatha olomeleleyo eyiyeyabantu; esikalini kakuhle, nto leyo ngcono - umtshato uthando okanye ukubala, kuba inkoliso bakhetha nemeko yokuqala. Namhlanje siya ncokola malunga nokuba ingaba oku kunokwenzeka apho mitshato lula kunokuba isiseko obude obonwabisayo ubomi bomtshato.

Phakathi nabafana kunye namabhinqa abaneminyaka engama-20 ukuya kwengama-30, njengoko uphando kwezentlalo, kukho abantu bacinge ukuba uthando - akukho kuyimfuneko umtshato. Njengalo, ukuba kusekho nya elidlulileyo, kunye nendoda mihla kubaluleke ngaphezu ekubaleni nenzuzo yezinto ezibonakalayo ngaphezu kothando ethile zexeshana ukuba ayikwazi iphathwayo izandla okanye epokothweni yakho ukubeka. Asiyi ukujongana kwicala yokuziphatha umba, yaye ngoko nangoko Okunye ingongoma ebalulekileyo kakhulu - abantu abatsha nje Andiqondi ukuba kunzima kangakanani ukuphila kufutshane mntu akathandwa, nkqu isipaji eyimitha. Umfazi xa eneminyaka aqolileyo ngakumbi, ukutshata kwi ekubaleni, isigqibo iza ebomini kunye nomntu yomazalelela kuva uziva ngathi lixhoba. Kodwa ke akaluqondi yintoni elo dini yena wenza ngokwakhe, nokuba umtshato wakhe uya kuba phezu kubalwe le ntsapho, okanye iza kuhlala itransekshini yorhwebo, kuxhomekeke kuyo.

Noko ke, bekuya kuba yinto ephosakeleyo ukuba kuthi ukuba umtshato lula kusoloko kuthetha ndingungantweni ngabom kunye nosapho amahlwempu. Nakanye konke - kunye nemizekelo abafazi abaninzi ukuqinisekisa oku. Maxa wambi kuyenzeka ukuba umtshato, nto leyo ukusuka ekuqaleni eyayicwangciselwe kuphela nje win-win deal, emva kwexesha elithile, baba yinto ngaphezulu kunokuhlala kunye nje kuphela. Phakathi abantu bakhona abo iimvakalelo leyo, Noko ke, abazange babe xa babeka utyikityo zabo kwiNcwadi Ubhaliso lomtshato bokubhalisa. Yaye ngenxa yoko, umtshato wabo waba phantse ogqibeleleyo, edibanisa kunye nemali eninzi, yaye ubuhlobo ngokomoya, ngaphandle apho ayikwazi ukuba intsapho epheleleyo.

Ngoko njani ukwenza umtshato uthando somtshato? Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo simele siqonde ukuba uthando ayikwazi "zigonywe" okanye ngenkani ezibethelelwe iqabane. Le imvakalelo kungavela kuphela ngokwawo, ngaphandle gross inyathelo bangaphandle, kunye neqabane nga negalelo ekukhuleni kwayo, ukudala indoda yakhe bume ekhaya kunye nosapho intuthuzelo. Kwaye kunzima kakhulu - kufuneka uyeke ujonge umyeni wakhe kuphela njengomthombo eziphathekayo kakuhle-ntle, baze baqalise kuyibona loo mntu. Ngokomzekelo, umntu ngamnye iindlela zabo kancinane - ngoko kutheni chitha ixesha elincinane, uze wenze iqabane lakho limnandi, enika licuba engaqhelekanga kuvimba wakhe, okanye ukuthenga amatikiti amabini ikhonsati band yakhe ayithandayo. Licacile elokuba, ezi zipho musa ukuba iindleko impahla esikhulu, kodwa unako kunceda ukudala imvakalelo ulwalamano kunye noxolo lwengqondo, ngaphandle apho akunakwenzeka ukuba ulonwabo emtshatweni.

Kwakhona, abasetyhini abaya wekamva kwafuneka ukuba satshata ekubaleni, iingcungela kummandla psychology usapho ulwalamano bacebisa kancinci kangangoko ukucela imali umyeni wakhe. Kungenjalo, le ntshukumo ukunxulumana ngokucacileyo kuye yezorhwebo ubudlelwane bakho, yaye nantoni na elungileyo kuyo ngeke. And vice versa - yimpumelelo ngakumbi ukufumana umsebenzi, yaye inkulu mali iza kukwazi ukutyala imali yentsapho - ayanda amathuba okuba kungekudala iqabane lakho obona ngaphakathi kwenu, hayi nje wathenga imali yokudlala, yaye umfazi lowo ufuna ukuchitha yonke yakhe ubomi.

Ukuba awukwazi mabalandele ezo zikhokelo, kodwa ukuzama ukufumana izinto avumelana ngazo, kunye nomyeni wakhe, ngoko qiniseka - abantwana bakho baya kujonga umtshato we isimanga, engaqondi ukuba oku umntu abazali abakwazi uthando omnye komnye? Kwaye mhlawumbi, uya sibhiyozela isikhumbuzo umtshato wakho ayikho ngaloo mini, xa nanitshata kwi-ofisi yobhaliso, xa ndandiqala waya ukulala ecaleni indoda enothando nomfazi.