Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemphefumlweni: malunga nendlela yokuqonda oko kulwalamano?

Ngokutsho manani, phantse 20 abantu yonke umzuzu zokuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemzimbeni yi neqabane. Yaye ekubeni imizimba zomthetho musa kubona izinto entsapho lolwaphulo-mthetho ukungqubana kwemihla ukuba neziphumo ukubethwa, ixhoba kunyanzeleka ukubiza kumgca eshushu, ukujongana neengxaki zentlalo. Kwezinye kuphela eUnited States, yonke imini yimali ngaphezu kwamawaka-20 yale minxeba. Ezi zibalo esikhawulezileyo. Yinto lusizi ukucinga ukuba abantu bayanyanzelwa ukuhlala emtshatweni yokoyika okanye nje kuba naphi na ukuba uhambe.

Ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemphefumlweni nzima ukubona

Noko ke, emtshatweni akusoloko wabonakalaliswa ngokohlobo ukubethwa nokuhlukunyezwa. Ngokutsho umqeshwa University of Arizona Eliza Lopes, ubundlobongela yokuziphatha obuquka nemiphumela ephanzisayo ngokulinganayo kwixhoba. Oku kungenxa yokuba olu hlobo gadalala kunzima kakhulu ukuqonda neengcambu. ukuziphatha esasibizwa ngokweemvakalelo ukuze ezininzi kuquka lwezidumbu onekhwele, okukrokrelwayo okanye nokunyelisa. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu edidekile magama kunye bakholelwa ukuba umntu onomona wayeyoliswa kakhulu iqabane lakhe. Amaninzi, ixhoba angalaziyo ukuba iqabane lizama zokuyifihla, kodwa kule meko ziviwa kakhulu andiyithandi kakhulu egeza. Ukuba ubuhlobo yakho kungenzeka ukuba akungenise ukoyika, usizi, ukudideka okanye umsindo, ngoku lixesha lokuba ukubhenela uncedo lobungcali. Musa ukulinda ukuba indoda esikhohlakeleyo wobulali ubulungisa nenceba ngesiquphe utshintshe. Ezantsi thina dwelisa izizathu apho kunokwenzeka ukuqonda ukuba uzwilakhe ngokweemvakalelo.

iqabane phrase kukwenza uzive iintlungu, uloyiko okanye ihlazo

Ukuba iqabane abathandanayo athethe nawe esebenzisa amagama ezimcaphukisayo kuwe, kukho umqondiso ocacileyo gadalala ngokweemvakalelo. Kusoloko kukho umgca ngaphaya apho ungakwazi uthuthe amazwi akhe. Kodwa abantu ezahlukeneyo abe ingcamango eyahlukileyo oko joke okungeyongozi, kwaye ngolo hlobo. Kubalulekile ukuxelela nesithandwa sakhe ukuba ongayithandiyo amazwi akhe, yaye ngoko nangoko lutshintsha indlela yonxibelelwano. esasibizwa yokuziphatha Awukwazi ngokwakho ukushiya ngaphandle ukukwazi ukwenza intlekisa ixhoba, ngoko lonke ixesha kuya ngoyaba isicelo. Enoba ufuna ukuqhubeka ukudlala indima martyr, okanye gqolo ukufumana amandla ukuze aphelise le modeli kunxibelelwano? Beka myalelo, kwaye ukuba iimeko azenzeki, kufuneka ukucinga malunga komsipha yonxulumano.

kuphika umgaqo ka

Zabantu Iyakwazi ngokugqibeleleyo iqhinga ukugcina ixhoba kwi ngomnxeba elifutshane. Xa oku esasibizwa ikhaya maqhinga yenza iqabane umphefumlo entandabuzo ngamazwi nezenzo zabo. ixhoba bezibuza angabi nako ukulwa umva. All in zonke, ngoko umele ubeke phambi ubunyani ukwalela leyinene. Kulo mzekelo, iqabane, luniyeke yaye siqinisekile, ngokufuthi ukonyusa ilizwi lakhe kuwe. Nokuba yena kunye nenkosikazi yakhe, yena uya kuba shushu ukukhanyela ubunyani lokungcatsha. Ngenxa yoko, iifekthi ziya igqwethekile ukuze ityala lolwaphulo indoda yakhe iya kongezelelwa kuni. Olu uhlobo olufihlakeleyo ugonyamelo, nto leyo iphosa intandabuzo phezu noxolo lwengqondo nexhoba. Amaxesha amaninzi babhenela enguzwilakhe onjalo wathi: "Uphambene, ukuba nimelwe kukuthini na ukuphathwa ngayo."

Akwenzeki oko ufuna

Ingxaki eqhelekileyo nayiphi na indlela yokwalamana kukho ukungavisisani amaqabane ezinxulumene nemisebenzi lokuzonwabisa. Ukuba iqabane ufuna ukubukela TV, umfazi ukulungele ukuya ezivenkileni. Imodeli ubudlelwane obuphilileyo ibandakanya bavume. Noko ke, nguzwilakhe ngokweemvakalelo siyoze sitshintshe isigqibo sayo. Ixhoba liya kusoloko Bayifaka, kungenjalo kuya qwele endlwini ngehlazo enkulu. Ukuba uziva ngathi iphaphethi, liqhekeza ukulawula ezandleni woonopopi, intuition, mhlawumbi akayi ukukopela. Leli ulwalamano iqabane akafuni enye njengemeko yentlalo-ntle iimvakalelo, ngokwasemzimbeni kunye zemali. Iingcali ezininzi kubudlelwane usapho ukhankanye kwimeko ezaziwa gadalala ngokweemvakalelo, xa indoda uyakwalela umfazi wakhe ukuba aye emsebenzini emva kokubeleka, bezama ukusindisa ubomi kwamandla akhe ngokupheleleyo.

Awunayo imvume kwezemali

esasibizwa Ekhaya ezama zihlekisa nexhoba nangayiphi na indlela, kubandakanywa ngokukhanyela ngayo ufikelelo ekuphathweni kwezimali. Ngokomzekelo, xa umfazi akanalo ilungelo ilizwi kwimiba ukuthenga izinto ezinkulu (yonke into eyenzeka ngaphandle ulwazi lwakhe), akafuni ukuya evenkileni (uhlala ekhaya nabapheki oko efrijini), ayinayo ukufikelela kwi-akhawunti yebhanki kwaye akazi ukuba imali echithwa.

Nantsi into ethethwa igqwetha mtshato Dzhef Affairs Henniger: "Enye indlela ixhaphakileyo esetyenziswa yi izaphuli ulawulo iyonke kwiintengiselwano zezimali. Uninzi iinkonzo zam abayazi indlela iqabane ZUZA, wobeka phi na imali-akhawunti yebhanki usapho, nokuba wenza imali yerhafu yokuthenga izindlu. La mabhinqa abaqondi ngokupheleleyo. Veki nganye, iqabane sokunikela kubo ngelize ukuba iindleko ezikhoyo ukwenzela umntwana. Oku kwenziwa ngabom, kuba imali encinane kwiwalethi wakho kunceda abasetyhini ukuba aqashe igqwetha ukuba amatyala umtshato. " Njengoko ubona, ixhoba eneneni iba sibanjwe kule meko.

Iimvakalelo zokungabinako kunye yanto

Ukuba kakhulu phantsi ukuzithemba, unako "enkosi" ukuba iqabane lakhe. Nanku omnye umqondiso ocacileyo ulwalamano ezinetyhefu. Ayithobe ofanelwe zakho nobuhle, nguzwilakhe ngokweemvakalelo oziphakamisayo ezonakalisile yanto. Ngokutsho eyingcali usapho mvume Marnie Foyerman zonke oozwilakhe zasekhaya usebenzisa le ndlela: "Le Ixhoba uqalisa ukuziva ungenamandla kwaye nkqu lithemba. Ukongeza, uninzi cybercriminals ngobuchule kunokumtshintsha iqabane umphefumlo, ukuba ndiziva ingelilo ityala labo. Ngenxa yoko, ixhoba uyaqonda ukuba yena nguye onoxanduva yonke into nokwenziwayo kuye. "

Le nqubo eyahlukileyo kancinci ukusuka ukwalela okanye ukungathembeki ngabom leyinene. Ekhaya esasibizwa ngobuqili iqhatha ingqondo yakho nephumelele emihle kakhulu. Ngoku uqala ukuqonda ukuba ufanelwe sengqondo esibi kwaye akafanelwanga okulungileyo. Le wake-up umnxeba, nto leyo efuna ungenelelo olukhawulezileyo zeengcali.

ixesha esilichitha kwihlabathi amaphupha kunye neminqweno

Kubonakala ukuba ufumene i Chicken neminqweno engapheliyo ubomi obungcono. Ngendlela, xa ikamva lakho eliqaqambileyo akukho ndawo ngenxa yokuba uzwilakhe, ngubani ngoku uhlala ecaleni nawe ecaleni. Ngandlela zonke uzama ukunqanda ngenxa ubunyani ukuba woyike kangaka. Ngelishwa, ubalekele iqiniso kwenziwa lula ngoncedo nokuziphatha kakubi. Ngaba ufuna uncedo nentuthuzelo ukungcakaza, zokuncokola, utywala. Nantsi isiphawuli eqhelekileyo yobudlelwane gadalala kunye neqabane: ukuphika, kwesiphazamiso, ihlabathi amaphupha kunye neminqweno. Ukuze ukuba aye Andigezi, ukunikela ixesha labo echithwa ukuziqambela ihlabathi lakhe apho yonke ugqibelele kwaye bakhuselekile. Kodwa ukuze angena kweli hlabathi, kwakufuneka yodwa kunye nendawo kude kubantu kunye nesixeko. Kwenza akukho mqondo ukuba kude sesokuqhubekeka imihla ngemihla. Lixesha lokuba ukutshintsha imeko.

Ingaba neentloni yobuntu yakho

Kwiintsapho kungaluxhatshazo ngokomphefumlo sivame le meko: umfazi lisondela ubuhlobo kunye nendoda yakhe, kodwa imizamo yakhe zingumphunga. Umuntu lula ukulawula imeko, umda ngokwayamana yaye zonke ukubonakaliswa umusa. Ukuba umfazi abakhwetha ngesondo, oko kuthetha ukuba kuyimfuneko ukwabelana yinxalenye amandla abo. Kodwa oku akuzange kwenzeke. Kungenxa yoko le nto umfazi bazitshitshisela uziva unetyala ngenxa izenzo "nenkanuko ekrwada." Indoda kusa ukubusa epheleleyo, kwaye ukwenza neentlobano zesini, ngokuziphatha ngamandla kakhulu kwaye insensitively. Ngelishwa, ngokufuthi oozwilakhe zasekhaya lihlaleni umgca oko kuvumelekile, eneneni ukudlwengula abafazi babo. Kuphela imodeli enjalo ngokwayamana kubonakala eyamkelekileyo umhlaseli.

uthando, amagama hayi obububo

Umane usiva kumyeni wayo ibinzana iqala ngala mazwi: "ndiyakuthanda, kodwa ..." Yinto uqhankqalazo kabuhlungu yakho nokuzixabisa. Ekuqaleni, incoko kubonakala kuwe nice yothando, kodwa ngokuthe ngcembe wehlela uncumo ebusweni bakho, enika indlela ludano kunye nengqumbo. Ngoko ke, lo uzwilakhe lwasekhaya ubuhlakani zigqutyuthelwe izisongelo nezigxeko idilesi yakho. Yena rhoqo kubeka imeko yakho uze uyazi loo mvakalelo - nto ingongoma anengevane, ngoko ngokufuthi isebenzisa igama elithi "uthando."