Indlela izilumle umntwana ezilumayo? Tips for abazali

Xa ubomi phantse yonke umzali kukho imeko, xa umntwana wakhe ezilumayo umntu. Umama, utata, omnye umntwana, umakhulu okanye ikati yam. Nabani ndafumana ngesandla eshushu, okanye mandithi izinyo, kwaba futhi kubuhlungu. Oku kuthetha ukuba ukuziphatha okunjalo ephosakeleyo, yaye kufuneka silwe ngayo. Kodwa izilumle njani zabaluma umntwana, ukuze abalekele into ekhathazayo ngakumbi?

Ngaphambi kokuba siphendule lo mbuzo, kufuneka siqonde izizathu zokuba wenza oku, ngenxa yokuba belisoloko.

Xa ndandineminyaka eli-baby iinyanga ezi-5 ukuya 7 esinayo silume umntu nje kuba ngale ndlela yena uzama ukuthomalalisa iintlungu ezinxulumene ne ezikhoyo kuba zisaqala. Iindlela zokujongana kulo mzekelo, eyona ezicacileyo: kufuneka unikele "Snapper" encinane zokudlala irabha, teethers, ezo ngokukodwa ngenxa yale njongo.

Kufuneka wenze ntoni xa umntwana eliluma kweminyaka esi-8 ukuya kwiinyanga ezili-14? Ngeli xesha, oku kunokwenzeka, xa usana udiniwe okanye perevozbudilsya inokubangela "vavanyo izinyo" Abazali kunokuba abe nazo okanye ukukruquka. Ukongeza, abazali bamisela umzekelo omhle umntwana wakho, ukuleqa iminwe yakhe njengembonakaliso uthando. Ukuba wenza ngoko utata okanye umama, ngoko, kakade, ngale ndlela sinyanzelekile ukuba unyana okanye intombi yabo. Omnye umba kufuneka ungalibali: kweli phakade, umntwana wakho ngenkuthalo ufunda ihlabathi ngenxa selungu lokuva kunye nemvakalo ukushukumisa. Nje ukwazi ukuba ukwazi oko ulubona. Indlela izilumle umntwana ukuleqa kweli phakade? Yenza ukuba ufumana iintlungu ezoyikekayo, kufuneka ungayibaxi, kodwa abangaqhelekanga onengqiqo buhlungu. umntwana wakho akwazi ukuqonda, oko buhlungu kuwe, kwaye izakuzama ukuqhubeka ukuba ukuyenza.

Ebudeni kwisiqingatha ukuya kwiminyaka-3 baby niyagrenyana kwi self-wokhuselo okanye ukuze kunikelwe ingqalelo kuzo, nangona ezimbi. umntwana wakho, nangona ubukhulu ayo, unokufumana imvakalelo enkulu: singenamandla, uloyiko, ukutyabuka, umsindo. Kodwa namathuba zakhe intetho angekabi ngokwaneleyo ziphuhliswe ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo ngamagama, ngoko ke niyagrenyana umntu, ukuba kukukhupha iingxaki zakhe. Indlela izilumle umntwana ukuleqa kule meko? Xa kungekho tyala musa ukusebenzisa amandla, ngenxa yokuba akangenanga, na uthetha ixesha elide kunye ezininzi, ngoko sebenzisa oku ukuba isixhobo sakho. Chaza ukuba ndihlelwe umntu ulunywe ukuba benze okubi njalo. Zama ukuba uchithe ixesha elingakumbi usana lwakho, kumenza azive ekhuselekile. Mfundise ukuba aveze imizwa yakhe ngamazwi okanye ezinye izenzo yivusa intlungu kwabanye (ukubetha mqamelo, lowatyumza kakubi okanye iphepha iinyembezi).

Emva kweminyaka 3 umntwana yaluma egadini okanye eyadini, ukuba uvikele kuhlaselo noontanga balo, ukugculelwa zabo ndlongo emagemeni abo. Kwakhona, isizathu sokuba ukusabela kwi-ukumbombozela kunokuba kuhlawulwa kwimeko xi ekhaya: ingxabano rhoqo okanye mtshato lwabazali babo, weza endlwini enye indoda endaweni upopu, ingqalelo unina niphele ngenxa inkangeleko umzalwana omncinane okanye udade. Indlela izilumle umntwana ukuleqa ibe nemeko enzima ngolo hlobo? Phambi kokuba ukumthethisa abana babo ukuba "yokuziphatha elihlazo", khangela ngeenxa kwaye ucinga, kungekhona ukuba ukutshintsha isimo sabo ngayo ngexesha lo mntwana, ukudala bume ngakumbi kuye ekhaya.

Oku akuthethi ukuba simele sihlale cwaka, phezu koko, basabela kwakho kufuneka ulandele ngokuyimfuneko ukuba umntwana uyaqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba enze njalo phantsi kwazo naziphi na iimeko. Ngoko ke, qiniseka ukuba ukuthetha ngokungqongqo ukuba ubona kufanelekile, ndiyamvelela (ukushiya ngaphandle ngokuhlwa ikhathuni, umzekelo), kodwa khumbula ukuba iingxaki abantwana phantse lonke ityala abadala. Kunye nezigqibo.