Ubudlelwane muncu nendoda yakhe emva kokubeleka. Yintoni ukwenza ntoni? Psychology kobudlelwane entsapho

Alas, namhlanje uyakwazi rhoqo ukuva ibali ngayo ulwalamano umfazi kunye nomyeni wakhe yayisiba emva kokuzalwa. Asikwazi ukuba njengokuba kwakunjalo kwixesha elidlulileyo, kodwa namhlanje imihlaba le ngxaki kuyoyikisa ngokwenene. Ngapha koko, ezininzi izibini musa ukugcina ingxaki entsatsheni, nto leyo kamva kukhokelela ingxabano rhoqo kunye hlakalo.

Kakade ke, ukuze baphile kwiimeko ezinjalo ezinzima, koko, Kwimeko enjalo iba nefuthe elibi psyche yomntwana. Ngoko makhe sithethe kutheni abantu ukutshintsha emva kokuvela wosana. Ziziphi izinto ezichaphazela umoya endlwini? Yaye kuthekani ukuba emva kokubeleka muncu ulwalamano kunye nomyeni wakhe?

Ukuzalwa komntwana - njalo uxinzelelo

Ukuba ucinga ukuba kweenyanga ezisithoba ekhulelwe - uvavanyo kakhulu, ngoko ngokucacileyo umhlola. Kukho ingqiqo e bengqondo, njengoko "omnye, le ntlekele." kubume bayo usendleleni yokuba unyaka wokuqala emva kokuzalwa komntwana - lelona xesha kakhulu. Kutsi kuwela eli nani likhulu umkhaya uxabana, enyundululu kunye nokudideka yabathengi.

Okokuqala, kufanele kuphawulwe ukuba Kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Ngapha koko, usana - ukuba loo kuxinezeleko kubazali, ingakumbi ukuba wamazibulo yabo yokuqala. Ngelo xesha linye mothuko ngokwasengqondweni ezifunyanwa ngabo bobabini abasetyhini kunye namadoda. Ingxaki nje kukuba baneembono ezahlukeneyo ngezinto ezifanayo. Lusetyenziswa komhlaba zonke iintlobo umahluko, kunye nokulwa ezinkulu kamva.

Kwaye okukhona ixesha, i ngokucacileyo umfazi liyayiqonda into yokuba ulwalamano lwakhe nendoda yakhe yayisiba. Kufuneka wenze ntoni kule meko? Okokuqala kuyimfuneko ukuba uyeke ukwesaba ze uzame ukusombulula ingxaki, kunkqangazwa kusithiwa kunye nezityholo. Ngapha koko, ukuziphatha okunjalo kuya kuyenza mandundu kuphela imeko yangoku. Isengqiqweni ukuqonda kanye yintoni unobangela kabi entsatsheni, uze kuphela ukuqala zokuyilungisa.

udonga engabonakali

Yintoni muncu ulwalamano kunye nomyeni wakhe emva kokubeleka, ungenza xelela ngazo isibhakabhaka uyalawula endlwini. Ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ukuba phakathi sibini sele bakha nodonga ongabonakaliyo. Ixesha elide baye baphola, i ziyatyeba kwaye rougher iba. Ngoko ke, ukuba ingxaki ibuye ibe lunengxaki konyaka omnye, kufuneka uzame ukusombulula ngokukhawuleza emva kokubuya esibhedlele.

Ukuze wenze oku, makhe sijonge umahluko enkulu bengqondo ababhinqileyo kunye abangamadoda. Ukuba zithini iindaba eziphambili ebomini kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba iqabane ngalinye? Kungani na ke ngoko ke bahlala bebeka phambili amabango angenasihlahla omnye komnye?

Ingakumbi umhlaba nemazi

Umfazi - unina. Loo mazwi zimbini ngokucacileyo zibonisa ukuziphatha abasetyhini ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwaye emva kokuba igqityiwe. Oko kukuthi indawo yokuqala usoloko ubeka abanye nangona uhlobo yakhe nomlinganiswa kunye nesimo sengqondo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kukho iimeko, kodwa ke kwiimeko ezininzi yenzeka ngaloo ndlela.

Akumangalisi ke into yokuba amabhinqa emva kokuzalwa zentloko yomntwana iya kungena anyamekele Chad wakhe. Kubo, kusengqiqweni ukuba yonke into kufuneka zisenokusekelwa kwiimvuthuluka zabo, njengoko isiqhamo uthando kudala elindelwe. Le wemvelo koomama, ngenxa apho iintlobo zethu wakwazi ukoyisa bonke ubunzima kunye ukuswela lomzabalazo yendaleko.

Ingxaki kukuba ngamanye amaxesha amantombazana anzongonzongo kakhulu kule nkqubo. Yinto enye into xa umntwana anikwe isabelo olufanelekileyo ingqalelo, yaye omnye xa unina uyayeka ukubona lonke ihlabathi ngenxa yakhe. Ngoko ke, simele sibe nako nokulawula eluthandweni lwakhe, ukuze sijongisise ngengqondo ephaphileyo isixa eyimfuneko ukhathalelo.

Hormone, pranksters

Iinyanga zokuqala emva kokuzalwa zinzima. Isizathu sokuba loo - xenga kwe hormone Kukudandatheka ukungaphatheki umzimba. Oku kukhokelela ekubeni nenyaniso yokuba isimo efana okuvezwa, ngoko liphuma, ngoko iwela kwakhona kungena enzonzobileni. Le yantlukwano kuchaphazela psyche yabafazi, iyenza kancinci ukuxhathisa ingxabano.

Ayimangalisi into yokuba kule mihla ukuba intombi ukuya engqondweni bangaze ezincinane ingxabano. Singasathethi into yokuba isizathu sokuba abe makangakhohlisi. Kakade ke, imo yakhe kwiinyanga ezimbalwa emva esiqhelweni, nantso kuphela ngeli xesha lobunzima intsapho ukuya kwelo nqanaba, uza emva koko landela ingxaki enkulu.

egocentrism abantu

Ukuze bathi bonke abantu abazingca, engalunganga. Kodwa akukho sinotyekelo kokuzinikela, ezifana ngabafazi, kuba ibonisa rhoqo kwi ngubani isigxina sendlu le. Ngoko ke, kwimeko engcono, bebona lo mntwana elilinganayo, yaye okubi ukuzityhala kwindawo yokuqala. Ngenxa yoko, musa ukuqonda iimeko apho anqunyulwe yokhathalelo yazo yesiqhelo kunye nothando.

Ngamafutshane, sebeqala ukuba nomona komntwana wabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, akukho nje embi njengoko kwimeko okhuphisana eyindoda, kodwa kusenjalo apho. Olu luvo yehlabathi kukhokelela kukuba iqabane uqalisa engaqondanga afune isiqinisekiso ukuba okanye yalele ngandlel ngoyaba. Ngelo xesha zithathelwa ingqalelo zonke izinto kancinane: zingaphi izihlandlo wathi igama ngobubele, nokuba ngaba esidla kusasa, nokuba ukuphendula bencumile, njalo-njalo.

Ngokuqhelekileyo, ezi ngcinga uza kukhula nenzondo kwaye ngoko zizehlela ngaphandle. Ekuqaleni, ziya kuqala umyeni wam ukwenza ngezityholo, uphakamise ilizwi lakho ize iphele yonke ihlazo wamazwi. Kwaye ngoko utata bakwam bafuna ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo, yaye zeenkcuba ezifanayo ziza kuphindwa ngakumbi nangakumbi rhoqo.

Kweli nqanaba kufuneka ayeke, echaza imeko yokwenene. Okokuqala, ayizange ayeke ukuthanda, nje ngoku ezo mvakalelo baye bafudukela ukuya kwinqanaba elilandelayo, ezinokuntsonkotha unzima. Okwesibini, le yokuziphatha ingakhokeleli nantoni na elungileyo, ngenxa yokuba ivumelane ubomi bentsapho ayikwazi kwakhelwa nomona namahlazo.

Man and sex

Amakhwenkwe namantombazana zizinto ezahlukileyo ebomini. Ngoko ke, ngokuba nemvakalelo lokuqala kunye nokuqonda - ngundoqo emtshatweni. Kodwa abantu yongezwe kuluhlu ngesondo. Ngapha koko, ngaphandle bexela Andiqondi ukuba ndingaphila intsapho yabo. Ingxaki kukuba ngexesha ukhulelwe ukuba ayakhuselwa uninzi weziyolo komzimba, nto leyo ekhokelela ekugqibeleni ukulamba ngokwesini.

Inye kuphela into Wabathuthuzela ke, ukuba liphupha eliqhelekileyo sex kokuba luzelwe. Awu, kwiimeko ezininzi, amathemba abo kuqhiphuka umbilini ababambana naye. Oku kuchazwe into yokuba ngexesha webele-ukondla kubafazi ngenene kumisa i sex. Loo indlela ebekwe phantsi ngemvelo, nenze oko akanakuba nto.

Noko ke, abantu abaqondi le nto. Ngoko ke, beqala ityala "nendlala" abafazi bakhe, njengoko xa ngabom waphika kubo kufuphi. Kwakhona ekugqibeleni ezi ngcinga siziguqulela izityholo ukuba konakele ngokucacileyo umoya endlwini. Ngoko kuyimfuneko ukuphepha breaks elide ngesondo, nokuba kunjalo akabi va fuse kunye kunokutshiseka.

Ukuntsonkotha kunyaka wokuqala

Enye into ebalulekileyo eziphembelela ulwalamano entsatsheni, kuba nokudinwa. Kunyaka wokuqala umntwana edlala phezulu, kususela kusasa kude kube sebusuku, nebangela kukudla komlilo. Kwaye into embi kukuba akukho nto enokwenziwa ngayo, ngenxa yokuba kule yobudala nabantwana akakwazi ukulawula ukuziphatha kwabo.

Kuhleli kuphela ndaqonda ukuba le ngxaki ayikho ukuba umntwana uvuka ebusuku kwaye uvumbulula macala onke, kwaye leyo wena akundazisanga yimidlalo oku. Kufuneka ukuba alungise ngokwakho ukuba oku kuphela inkxamleko yethutyana, eziyimfuneko ukuze emihle kakhulu. Indlela kuphela ukomeleza umoya yakho ngala maxesha obunzima.

Ukungasebenzi - akuyona indlela

Enoba kutheni ubudlelwane iphazanyiswa kunye nomyeni wakhe emva kokubeleka, akathathi bekuya kuba ngendlela embi ukusombulula le ngxaki. Ngapha koko, le elide phakathi ludongandini engabonakaliyo, kuba nzima ukuba siyitshabalalise. Kungenxa yoko le nto iisayikholojisti Sicebisa uqalisa ukwakha ubuhlobo kwangethuba kangangoko kunokwenzeka.

Kulo mzekelo, akunamsebenzi ngubani endlwini. Kokukhona kubaluleke nguye oya kuthabatha inyathelo lokuqala ukuya komnye. Kodwa ke kwakhona, amadoda kuhlaliswe ngaphantsi kulo mba, ngokunjalo nendima kuthula kudla uwela mfazi. Isizathu soku yokuziphatha silele isibakala sokuba abameli kwisiqingatha olomeleleyo uluntu owoyamaniswe ukubona ngokwabo okulwa, ezenziwe ibunzi. Kwaye yanto ukuba theka kwaye ukujingxela phezu zochuku.

Kakade ke, le meko onjalo bekhululekile ngokupheleleyo namabhinqa, ngenxa yokuba kufuneka ukuncama ikratshi labo. Kodwa ke kule meko sithetha ulondolozo usapho, kwaye ke ngoko kufuneka ukuba ukhethe phakathi okulungileyo eziqhelekileyo obunazo zabo. Ukongeza, kwixesha elizayo, abantu baya kufuneka ukuba benze umsebenzi omninzi ukuze kuphunyezwe imvisiswano phakathi kwamalungu osapho.

bonke Iqala ngengxoxo

Inyathelo lokuqala - nzima kakhulu, kuba ngawo lo mzuzu intliziyo ndiyathingaza uya kuyamkela ngayo abanye abantu. Kodwa kufuneka siqonde ukuba ukulinda umphefumlo ndiyathuthunjelwa ngendlela efanayo, mhlawumbi nangakumbi. Ngoko ke musa ukuba nizihlubile nje incoko kunye nomyeni wakhe zisiza umva uye ngqo entliziyweni le ngxaki.

Xa uthetha nabantu obathandayo kufuneka zisekelwe mithetho ilandelayo:

• Okokuqala, incoko kufuneka ndlela-mbini. Oko kukuthi, kufuneka baqinisekise ukuba umoya apho omabini bathethe ngeengxaki zabo, amava kunye nenkxalabo.
• Okwesibini, kuyimfuneko ukugcina ubushushu ngamazwi. Khumbula ukuba incoko phakathi kwabantu ababini eluthandweni, kunokuba kumazwe thethana, usilwa kangangeenkulungwane.
• Okwesithathu, musa ukukufihla nto. Nkqu imfihlelo kangako okanye isityholo kungakhokelela ukuba le meko iya kuphinda yenzeke kwakhona kwixesha elizayo.

Kubalulekile ke ndawo for ukuncokola. Kungcono ukudala umoya luthando, ngoko ngeenxa aura ebalulekileyo noxolo nothando. Kulo mzekelo, utywala Kucetyiswa ukuba ngaphandle, njengoko Kule meko kungenzeka ona incoko ngaphezu akhokelela iziphumo ezincumisayo. Kodwa ukutya omkhulu, phezu koko, ikhuthaza ingxoxo, ayimangalisi into yokuba zonke yozakuzo zikhatshwa ezidlweni ebizayo kunye namaxesha.

Le ngozi lokuqala

Ingxaki kukuba asingawo onke utata oselula ukulungele ukuxoxa iingxaki zabo. Kwakhona, asole syndrome njengegorha, nto leyo ebangela ukuba abantu iliwa soyiswe. uzinzo ezo mvakalelo, kwelinye icala, amtsale; nangapha - kunokuhenda ukucinga ukuba iqabane lakho - log ngokwenene.

Kulo mzekelo, kuya kuba nzima ukuba ukusombulula le ngxaki ngokuthi ukuthetha, njengoko indoda sigqibe nje kubo. Kodwa awukwazi ukunika phezulu, kufuneka ukutyhalela rhoqo le ndoda umba, ibhekisela ukubaluleka kwayo. Uyakwazi ukusebenzisa nayiphi ukulungisa evela uncumo ephela sisibonelelo kulinga ukuxoxa bonke ebhedini.

Kufuneka kuqondwe ukuba incoko - oku sisiseko yonke into. inceda nje ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ubudlelwane muncu kunye nomyeni wakhe. Emva kokuzalwa yeemeko ezifana zininzi, kwaye ngokunjalo nangezinye iindlela kodwa ayichazwa.

Thina sonke ngoku ezintathu

Abazali abaninzi bazama ukuqhelana ukuvela labantwana abaphila phantsi imithetho emidala. Inyaniso kukuba le ndlela osoloko kuyahexa, njengokuba kubhaliwe yenzelwe kuphela ababini. Kodwa ngoku yosapho iye enkulu, yaye lixesha ukwenza utshintsho ebomini bakho. Ikakhulu kufuneka sinikele ingqalelo le migaqo ilandelayo:

1. Ingqalelo kufuneka banikwe yonke into. Umntwana ngaso olitshijolo, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ukuba amnike lonke ixesha lakhe nanceba. Funda ukwaba iiyure eziliqela emva koko ukuze sihlale kunye ngothando emoyeni. Buza kumanyanisa usapho lwakho uze unike kuqhambuke ngathi ibhaluni.
2. Akukho ekhala endlwini. Kakade ke, zicezele zonke kumanyundululu akathandi kusebenza, kodwa unganciphisa kubo. Nje amalungiselelo oko kangangexesha elithile Andisoze phezulu-edluliswa kunye recriminations. Khumbula: olu lokuziphatha komeleza kuphela emtshatweni, kodwa ibe nempembelelo entle psyche yomntwana wakho.
3. ukusebenza Mirror. Undoqo yalo mgaqo uzibeke rhoqo kwiqabane lakho. Wacinga kunzima kangakanani kwakusa lwakhe, oko aswele, yaye ukuba baziphathe ngayo, zakubon 'ukuba zenziwe endaweni yakhe.
4. Gqibezela abazali. Akukho mfuneko ukukhulisa umntwana yedwa, njengomntu - uyise. Umntwana uyavuka ebusuku - go ajike neentango wakhe, ndixakekile ekhitshini - nokuba ngokulandela saso, umqala obuhlungu - mababe yitsho lullaby ukuya bass yakhe.
5. Funa uncedo kwabanye. Rhoqo izibini eziselula ukubaleka zingadinwa kuba azinayo isibindi ukucela uncedo nezihlobo zabo. Kakade ke, kukho abo bazali, leyo uyoyika ukuba bangashiyi abantwana babo. Kodwa khumbula ukuba nawe abantu, kwaye udinga ixesha ngokwakho.

wemvelo ozala

It nje Kwenzeka ukuba abasetyhini babe ithuku koomama uwuvulile ngoko nangoko emva kokuzalwa. Noko ke, xa amadoda yinto eyahlukileyo. Ukuze ufikelele ienjini zabo, kuthatha ixesha kunye ngendlela ekhethekileyo, kungenjalo bakwazi ukuphuhlisa ngekhwele ienjini ngayo umntwana wakhe.

Ngoko ke, indlela ukuphaphamisa umntu wemvelo zakhe elibalulekile? Enyanisweni, yonke ilula: kufuneka zombini wedwa kunye nonyana okanye intombi kusenokuba lula ukuba simshiye. Kodwa ngenxa yesizathu esithile ezininzi oomama besoyika ukwenza eli nyathelo. Beyisekile ukuba oku kuya kukhokelela kwiziphumo noqhekeko, ukuba ayikho babo, kodwa uhlobo lwesilwanyana.

Kodwa ke inyaniso kukuba ooyise benze imisebenzi yabo engcono ngakumbi oomama babo. Into kuphela ukuba bafuna ixesha elingakumbi uqeqesho, kuba sonke kufuneka bafunde ukusuka ekuqaleni. Kubalulekile ukuba inkxaso ngokupheleleyo iqabane, ukuba kuyimfuneko, ukunika amacebiso amancinci. Yaye kungekudala upopu kuphela silibale ngokuba nomona, kodwa abe ngumncedi ngokwenene omama.

Womnqatha ze stick

Khumbula ukuthandana? Xa indoda ithe lizisa intombazana ezininzi iintyatyambo kunye nezipho, yaye ithanda naye oku aze anike uthando. Ngoko ke, ngomnyaka wokuqala emva kokuzalwa komntwana kufuneka lubonwe ixesha ngokuthandana, kuba kuyimfuneko ukuba babuyele isisa yangaphambili kulwalamano. Ukusuka umfazi kufuna ukhathalelo hayi kuphela umntwana, kodwa indoda yakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngexesha enjalo kuba umsebenzi onzima, kodwa akukho bani wathi bekuya kuba lula. Ngoko ke, umfazi kufuneka benze konke okusemandleni ukubonisa uthando lwabo kumyeni wakhe nokuba oko kuye kwatshintsha emva wemvula entsapho.

Noko ke, ukuba usikhathalele, kwaye mfo akaphenduli uthando, ngoko lixesha lokuba ugqithele isabhokhwe. Oko kukuthi, isuswe ubomi bentsapho lonke uvuyo ukuba indoda ephefumlelweyo. Kufuneka abonise isizathu sokuba ukuziphatha okunjalo, ukuze azi ukuba kutheni. Ngendlela, abantu babe nokuqonda kancinane amacebo, ngoko ke kungcono ukuba bathethe ngqo, bakuxelele ukuba ayithi sihambelane ntombazana. Ngoko ke, ufumana ukugcina ixesha size siphephe abayiqondi ezinokubakho kunye nokwenzakala ezidibeneyo.

Ukuba nobuhlobo zixingile

Yeha, wena awukwazi akusoloko ukusombulula ingxaki yonxulumano ezimashakeleyo ngokusebenzisa iintetho kunye ubuqili zobufazi. Maxa wambi kuyenzeka ukuba isibini weza ngohlangothi, ukusuka apho kunzima ukuya umva. Kwaye kwangoko i- sisombululo oyinyaniso kuphela uhambo ukuya ngengqondo. Ingxaki nje kukuba iindlela ezinjalo zithathwa zakuba lilize kwilizwe lethu.

Kodwa, kholwa ndim, ukuba esi sigqibo kuya kukunceda ugcine usapho lwakho. Ngapha koko, oyingcali olungileyo kuphela ukuphulaphula, kodwa kwakhona ukunika iingcebiso eziyimfuneko. Ukwenza kwabo, esi sibini yaye akazange isaziso ubomi iza kuqalisa njani ukuba ukuphinda-bafumane imibala eqaqambileyo. Ngoko kuyimfuneko ukubeka bucala zonke iingcinga kunye bazakuqala ukusombulula iingxaki njengoko sifanelwe kukohlwaywa. Kuba kuchaphazela kuphela bayahlelwa usapho, kodwa yintoni na kwixesha elizayo kuya kuba nomntwana.